Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


Empowered Communication

I’m very happy to have Stacey Hanke, founder of 1st Impression Consulting, Inc., as my guest today. The author of Yes You Can!: Everything You Need From A to Z to Influence Others to Take Action, Stacey has trained over 15,000 people and has delivered over 500 presentations for business leaders in the financial industry to the healthcare industry to government and everyone in between. Her client list is vast, from Coca-Cola, Kohl’s, United States Army, Navy and Air Force, Leo Burnett, AT&T and the FDA. She has inspired thousands as a featured guest on media outlets including; SmartMoney magazine, Business Week, Lifetime Network, Chicago WGN and WLS-AM.

Stacey helps individuals eliminate the static that plagues communicative delivery – to persuade, sell, influence and communicate face-to-face with a clear message. I consider good face-to-face communication one of the most important skills you can develop to empower yourself. Since this week is all about asking, I felt learning to have good face-to-face communication will help you do that. Here are some great tips for developing this skill:

The Lost Art of Face-to-Face Communication: Eight Steps to Impact and Influence
by Stacey Hanke

Communicating meaningfully is becoming more difficult than ever before.  While technology has created an ever-increasing number of ways to communicate, many people are now insulated and protected.  Consequently we’re losing the skills and abilities to communicating in the most influential way – face to face.

There’s a real danger to the maintenance of meaningful communications and personal and professional relationships. If you become overly dependent on email or text messages, you focus on the object, not the person.  If you can’t keep the attention of your listener for them to understand your message, you won’t influence them to take action.

Failure to communicate effectively face to face has a phenomenal impact on business and success.
•    Miscommunication and understanding.
•    Wasted time.
•    Loss in profits.
•    Minimize ability to effectively project trust, confidence and credibility to build relationships.

There are certain topics of conversation where face-to-face communication will absolutely be the best way to influence action.

•    Negotiating salaries, vacations, termination.
•    Resolving a dispute or conflict.
•    Seeking clarification after written communications has failed.

Communicating with impact and influence face-to-face requires discipline, determination, and self-awareness.  Begin with the following eight must have steps.

1.    Make your moment’s together count.  Everyone has the right to speak.  Earn the right to be heard.  Think about what you want to say before you say it. Every word counts.  Tailor what you say to meet your listener’s needs.

2.    Pay attention by listening for the unspoken emotions. Do not let your eyes dart away since that signals you’re no longer paying attention.  Wait to speak only when the person has finished what they want to say.  Listen and read their expressions to gain maximum understanding of the why behind their words.

3.    Honor the other person’s time.  Prepare and get to the point quickly by speaking in short and concise sentences.  Replace your non-words (“uh,” “um,” “so,” “you know … “) with a pause to find your thought.  Avoid rambling and cluttering your message with unnecessary points.  Ask for a clear and specific action. Don’t take 20 minutes when you only asked for ten.

4.    Prepare for your face-to-face meeting ahead of time.  K.N.O.W. your listener.
•    K – What does your listener know about your topic?
•    N – What does your listener need to know to take the action you want them to take in the time frame you have for this conversation?
•    O – What is your listener’s opinion about your topic?
•    W – Who is your listener?  What additional information do you know about your listener to help you customize your message for them?

5.    Avoid non-verbal abuse. Your behavior and non-verbal cues are as important as the words you say.  Don’t fidget, act nervous or allow your posture to convey uncertainty or insincerity.

6.    Be Sincere and Authentic. Speak in your authentic voice. Be genuine and allow others to see the real you.

7.    Maintain control of the conversation. Be interesting. If you see the signs that you’re no longer the center of attention:
•    Your listener begins working on their Blackberry, iPad, IPhone, etc.
•    Your listener begins to have side conversations.
•    Your listener interrupts you.

Stop. Break the flow. Earn their attention. Get back on track. Ask for specific feedback about your key points, the manner in which you presented and the way you responded. Ask for balanced feedback about how to improve and immediately begin applying this feedback.

Technology-driven communication will improve if you first focus on improving the most important method first — face-to-face communication.

*******************

Take the self-love challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.



Previous Posts

Law of Attraction in Action: Making the Best of What Happens
This is post 281 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. Things don’t always go the way you planned or hoped for. That’s how life works. But wh

posted 12:01:35pm Apr. 22, 2014 | read full post »

Rewriting Elizabeth Barrett Browning
  Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I borrowed it for the title of the book I’m giving away through The Self-Love Movement™---How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways. To build self-love, it’s good to think in those terms. I suggest you rewrite

posted 12:01:25pm Apr. 21, 2014 | read full post »

Shutting Yakkers Up Nicely
Have you ever just wanted to be left alone but someone intruded on your space? When I was a DoorMat and someone talked my ear off when I wanted silence I’d just smile and let them go on and on. I’d get mad inside and feel frustrated at my inability to say what I was feeling—SHUT UP! I’d g

posted 12:01:09pm Apr. 18, 2014 | read full post »

A Wake Up Call
Can you easily recognize when it’s time to make changes in your life?  I’m thrilled to have Dr. Dain Heer as my guest today to give you suggestions for waking your consciousness. He travels all over the world facilitating advanced classes, workshops and seminars on Access Consciousness® and a

posted 12:01:58pm Apr. 17, 2014 | read full post »

Law of Attraction in Action: Assuming the Worst
This is post 280 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how. When you’re going through a problem it’s easy to get worked up in a negative direction

posted 12:01:25pm Apr. 15, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.