Do you worry about “what ifs?” and the worst case scenario outcome for everything? I know people like that. Give them something to think about and their minds race to look for potential trouble where there probably wouldn’t be any. They’re usually the same people who see the glass half empty instead of half full–the Debbie Downers who look for the bad stuff instead of the good. Finding things to worry about can be easy in that mentality.
When I was a DoorMat I was often a Debbie Downer and sometimes looked for things to worry about. I was in such a negative place that it was hard to stay positive. My primary worries revolved around whether people liked me. People pleasers are like that. We want to please so badly that we can be constantly on edge, worrying about not being perfect enough or doing enough or that someone misunderstands something you say or do.
When you worry about pleasing everyone, you increase your need to please others.
When you crave everyone’s approval, it’s easy to worry about whether or not you’ll do something to displease people you’re convinced you need. If a friend didn’t call me for a while, I’d project that maybe I’d done something wrong and they didn’t like me anymore. If someone asked me to help with something, I’d worry whether I’d done it to their satisfaction. I didn’t express what I thought because I worried someone might disagree and not like me. All this worry can make you really go the distance trying to please.
Abraham Lincoln said, “Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want.”
Does your mind simulate a paintbrush, painting pictures of what might happen? Do you project to the worst possible thing and then stress over it happening? Even if all those “what ifs?” don’t happen, you’ll suffer because you’ll create strong negative emotions about it. Why hurt yourself that way? Many years ago I had recurring pains and parts of my body kept getting numb. It scared me. I worried it was signs of a stroke. My best friend is a nurse and assured me that the chance of it was remote. But I worried. And worried, until I was responding to everything as if I was terminally ill.
Worrying about it actually made me ill in other ways but I didn’t go to the doctor as I was terrified of getting confirmation. Finally, a friend who was sick of hearing me whine about how I might be starting to have strokes insisted I see a doctor. She convinced me by saying that I was already living as if it was true so what could be worse if my doc said it was true. She was right. The doctor said I had a pinched nerve that caused all my symptoms. That was it and it healed fast! I was fine yet allowed worry to take over my good sense.
Worrying serves NO purpose, unless you like suffering!
As you consider all the negative things that can result from an action or situation, you will feel bad about it. Worrying also tells the Universe that you don’t trust that things will work out. So you can actually attract what you worry about by worrying! Why do that to you!!! As I loved myself more and stepped out of DoorMatville, I became more conscious of how much I worried and whether or not it was realistic. As my faith got stronger and stronger, my tendency to worry decreased.
If you want to paint, take an art class! Why stress over what may not occur–unless you like tormenting yourself? An unknown author said, “Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday and all is well.” Think about it. Things have a way of working out without worrying. Worry does NOTHING to improve anything. Next time you find yourself worrying over things that may not happen, affirm, “Everything will work out fine.”
Take the 31 Days of Self-Love challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.
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