Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Self-Love Tip: Learn from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for HowDoILoveMeCover.jpgToday is Day 17 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love.


Today we celebrate the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King. He changed the course of history with the work he did to break down racial barriers in the US. His “I have a dream” speech still resonates with people. Today I want to acknowledge some of his wisdom as it relates to self-love. I’ve read many of his quotes but these of some of my favorites:

A right delayed is a right denied. Dr. King was referring to giving all Americans equal rights when he said that but it applies to all rights. Just like freedom and equality, self-love should be YOUR right. YOU give that right, and YOU postpone it. When you delay loving yourself until you lose weight or make more money or get surgery to look younger, and find a romantic partner, you deny yourself the right to self-love. Don’t deny the right to love YOU. Do something self-loving right now!


Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Dr. King knew the power of love. As they say, two wrongs don’t make a right. If you saw your mom not loving herself or your friends don’t love themselves, following that same path won’t make you happy. But when you love yourself, you take the power to light up the darkness and let love in from other sources too.

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. One thing that kept Dr. King peaceful was his ability to not hate those who hurt him. He recognized that hating people is a highly negative emotion that has no value, unless you want to feel angry and unhappy. As an act of self-love, I no longer allow myself to hate people. I may hate actions or results, but not the person. I love myself too much to inflict on me the anger that comes with hating a person.


The quality, not the longevity, of one’s life is what is important. Always playing in the safe zone and not taking risks lowers your quality of life. Taking risks makes life interesting, more meaningful and fun. It also opens you up to new possibilities for increasing happiness. People live long, boring, unhappy lives. Dr. King made his work very meaningful. His life was cut short but his legacy will go on forever. Self-love motivates you to improve the quality of your life by doing things that make you happy, and doing things that make you happy increase self-love.

Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase. This is my favorite quote by Dr. King and I use it often. Too many people are afraid to take even one step toward their dreams if they don’t have a guaranteed ending or if it seems like too much to do. Faith–a powerful self-love tool–allows you to take that first step. Every little step you take gets you closer to what you want. The more things work out, the easier it is to take the next step. Spiritual support is there if you let it in!


Dr. Martin Luther King gave his life to lead an equal rights movement. I believe a big part of his power is that he operated in a mindset of love. He encouraged peaceful demonstrations when possible. He wisdom lives on and is a lesson about the power of love.

Take the self-love challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself.

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