Beliefnet
Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

fingers_victory1_xenia.jpgI just heard that the US consumes a large majority of anti-depressants.
Messages in the media contribute to a majority of the reasons for so
many people being unhappy. Girls grow up with more pressure than ever to
have perfect looks. They see young celebrities getting their bodies
worked over in the name of looking perfect. Heidi Montag from The Hills
admits she’s obsessed with plastic surgery as she shows off all the work
she had done. She almost died in the process but would go back for
more! Yet she looks too fake, and older in my eyes.

Women who
can’t afford to get work done or who just don’t have the face or body to
be perfect feel lousy about themselves, which is the antithesis of
self-love.

And guys aren’t immune to feeling depressed about
themselves either. Different issues can make them feel bad, in
particular, not making enough money or having enough power, especially
in this bad economy. Appearance–being short, losing hair, not being as
muscular as they see in magazines, being overweight–all can hurt
self-esteem in men. Those who’ve lost their jobs or taken pay cuts or
who just can’t get a promotion hear about great success stories and feel
inadequate. That contributes to depression and unhappiness.

The
best way to combat feeling inadequate it to celebrate small victories
you have each day.

What is a victory? Anything you do that’s
positive. Giving thanks when you wake up is a victory. Getting out for a
walk is a victory. Putting yourself first in something is a victory.
Buying yourself a rose is a victory. Stopping to take some deep breaths
is a victory. Basically anything you do for yourself that’s positive is a
victory. Don’t just look for the big stuff. Losing twenty pounds would
be nice for you but passing on a cookie you want is a victory. Getting a
huge raise would be wonderful but doing a good job where you are is a
victory.

Ask yourself, “Do I want to be depressed or happy?”
“Miserable or satisfied?”

While you might not consciously
choose the be depressed or miserable, your subconscious picks up on your
dissatisfaction with yourself and responds by giving you negative
emotions. You can choose to succumb to feeling bad about yourself or
consciously choose to celebrate the good in you and in what you do. The
operative word is CHOICE. No Pill can make you happy. They can lift some
depression but only YOU can choose to recognize the good in you and
accept yourself as you are now with love.

Acknowledging your
small victories can keep negative emotions at bay.

When I was
a DoorMat, I chose miserable and depressed by hating my cellulite and
other things about me. I beat myself up for not being perfect and
suffered with low self-esteemed and tastes of happiness when someone
threw me a bone for a favor. Now I wake up happy every day and look for
small victories to celebrate. I opened my eyes and smiled. Victory! I
ate a healthy breakfast. Victory! I looked in the mirror and said, “I
love you!” Victory! I wrote this post. Victory!

Find your own
victories and let them carry you to a state a self-acceptance
that
builds pride in who you are and what you do. Then you’ll enjoy more than
a taste of happiness and a content life. Focusing on small victories
build the positive emotions that, like a jigsaw puzzle, piece together
to create a happy, satisfying life!

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comments under my posts so we can stay connected. 

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