Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat


Law of Attraction in Action: Attitude

This is post 78 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

I hear the word attitude used in a variety of ways. I define it as your view of life, or yourself, or something specific, that reflects in the way you carry yourself and behave. You may think you’re coming across in one way but your attitude can betray your deeper feelings. It can send the right or wrong message to people, and to the Universe.

Your attitude helps to create the emotions needed to get the Law of Attraction to work for you the way you want it to. Or, it thwarts your desires.

I’ve seen attitudes that mask deeper feelings. An air of superiority can cover insecurity. Being overbearing in trying to make decisions for everyone can come from fear of not feeling in control. You may say you love everyone but your attitude can say differently if you ridicule people or put up walls when certain types of people interact with you. It’s especially important to be cognizant of your whole attitude when you want something specific.

Your attitude can set expectations, even if you want the opposite of it.

People who’ve been burned in a relationship say they want to meet someone good for them but, if their attitude towards men or women in general is negative—“Men can’t be trusted!” or “Women always use me for my money”—your message to the Universe is that you’re not ready for a relationship. I believe that attitude is a big reason that people don’t attract the kind of romantic partner they say they want.

An attitude based on past experience keeps you from manifesting the best you can in the present.

Your attitude can change from work to play. You may be happy in your personal life but believe you’re undervalued at work and it shows in your attitude, which can be defensive with those around you. If your attitude reflects feeling undervalued, that’s what you’ll attract! If you have a more friendly, open, positive attitude, more comes to you. You never know what’s going on beneath the surface of someone’s attitude, just as people can’t read your inner thoughts.

And the Universe picks up on your most blatant attitude.

A few years ago I had a client I’ll call Jay. He walked in to see me with a cocky attitude. He was good looking, in great shape and made good money. Jay bragged that with the odds of women to men in NYC he could get any woman he wanted. He was 37, had a really good game with women and his attitude screamed arrogant. His attitude toward women made me want to smack him. Each was a conquest that would fall for his lines and moves. As he got comfortable with me, Jay let his guard down and his insecurity came out.

His attitude masked fear that if he stopped acting like a player, he wouldn’t get women.

I asked if he’d ever been in love. “Not really” he said. While Jay had been with MANY dozens of women, the relationships had all been as shallow as his attitude. He admitted he did want to get into a meaningful relationship and didn’t know why he couldn’t attract a loving woman. He’d been with models, supersexed chicks, and other hotties. But not one had been sincerely affectionate or loving. Yes, he had fun. He thought he was happy. But as he saw friends in close relationships, he realized that everything he attracted was superficial.

While it can be helpful to fake confidence until it’s real, it should be on a positive, healthy level, not with phony intentions.

Jay couldn’t attract a real, positive, caring woman because his attitude reflected women as goals to conquer, not to love and be loved by. He thought he was happy with the women who looked gorgeous wearing tons of makeup, designer clothing and their own attitudes of being hot. As his walls fell during our sessions, we worked on how to change his attitude about women and his role with them. It took him some time but he’s now happily married with a baby on the way.

Earl Nightingale said, “A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our worlds; it seems to magically connect us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities that were somehow absent before the change.”

Years ago a friend from a small town moved to NYC. He questioned me when I went up to Harlem by myself or walked home late at night. His attitude about NYC was that it’s easy to get mugged. I told him that wasn’t true but he walked around with an attitude that people were out to get him. He walked cautiously on the lookout for trouble. He wasn’t friendly in public. I wasn’t surprised that it took only 2 weeks in NY for him to be preyed on by a group of young punks.

I’ve walked home at 1AM from downtown alone yet this strong guy was jumped at 5:30 in the evening in a busy, normally safe neighborhood!

I walk in friendliness since I expect to be safe. My friend’s attitude reflected his nervousness. Fortunately he got away from the guys before they took his wallet. For him it was proof that NYC is a dangerous place. For me it showed how his attitude of walking around viewing everyone as a potential mugger got him mugged! I’ve lived here my whole life and never once had even a close call. I have a loving attitude about all people and feel safe no matter where I am. Of course I’m more alert late at night, but I don’t walk in fear like he did.

Do your best to match your attitude to the intentions you want to manifest.

Pay attention to your attitude in different life situations, and to life in general. What beliefs are reflected in it at work, with friends and family and about yourself? Determine if it’s consistent with what you want to attract or counterproductive for attracting what you want. Do you approach situations in a defensive way or with an openness to great possibilities attitude? Do you reflect preconceived notions based on past experiences? Or is your attitude one of “All is well and good things are coming?”

Change your attitude and attract more good!

When I felt like I wasn’t worthy of much my attitude reflected that and I didn’t get much. Now I know I deserve all the gifts that the Universe has to offer and my attitude is open to it all, with joy and gratitude. Do an attitude check and help yourself attract a lot more!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

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  • JennYer

    I've seen this to be true. I have a friend who is always friendly and expects to attract people who can do things for her, and she does. Her attitude is that all people are good. And they are to her.

  • Rafael

    I have been living like this for 1 year now on and off. When I was in good spirits good things happened. When I was using drugs/booze and thinking negative, things were real bad! I will continue to live this way for the rest of my life!

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