Beliefnet
Jesus Needs New PR

Uh oh. Heaven is keeping a close eye on what’s happening in Vegas. All you silly sinners who actually believe the advertising ploy that your sin “stays in Vegas,” you’ve been duped! Apparently God’s been keeping impeccable records on all of your gambling, drinking, sexing, as well as how many times you’ve ordered antibiotics without a prescription from India! Plus, he’s been counting how many times you’ve seen Celine live! And guess what? When you get to Heaven (on your way to Hell), God is going to publicly humiliate you in front of the whole entire Universe! Yep, we’ll hear, see, (and some will giggle) as we watch on a HUGE SCREEN all of your secrets being revealed (in 3D!)… Because THAT’S how much God loves you!

But please, for now, have a good time! Win some money! Buy that cheap thrill. And tell Celine we say hello.

Sent to me by Hannah!

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