Jesus Needs New PR

Jesus Needs New PR


PICTURES OF THE DAY: My Facebook friend met Jesus and Satan in Florida…

The pictures are real. One of my Facebook friends (and reader of this blog) recently took her kids to Florida! Besides spending time with Mickey, Donald, Buzz, and Cinderella, she also visited TBN’s The Holy Lands (yes, believe it or not, they’re in Orlando!)… but she brought home some amazing pictures, and a couple featuring her adorable children.

(I got permission to use these photos…)

But yes… the pictures are real. The captions are not.

"Verily verily I say unto you: Welcome Ya'll! Come on in and get ready for some good ole Holy Land hospitality! Here, you will experience everything you would experience in the REAL Holy Lands, minus the bombs and Muslims..." -Jesus

"Here, the rocks and birds don't talk, but our shrubs scream truth all the time! AND IN ALL CAPS, TOO! Nothing communicates truth like shrubbery." -Jesus

"Now, I know what you're thinking: The story of Pinocchio isn't biblical. But I think once you experience the guts of our exhibit here at Orlando's Holy Land, you'll wish it was in the Bible!" -Jesus

"That's me giving my new little buddy the Sistine Chapel!" -Jesus

"People ask me all the time: 'Jesus, why do you let the evil one roam around the park?' And I tell them, 'Satan don't roam! He's not REALLY here in the park. He's just a cardboard cutout!' Here you see my new little buddy peeping through Satan's thorax." -Jesus

Hey, don’t laugh… make sure your shrubs are trimmed before you go trimming other people’s shrubs…

Okay… I must be tired. :)



Advertisement
Comments read comments(24)
post a comment
Amanda

posted February 11, 2011 at 3:06 pm


Your captions are way funnier than mine. I wish I was as witty! Thanks for sharing my pics :)



report abuse
 

    Jen

    posted February 11, 2011 at 3:11 pm


    Amanda,

    your kids are adorable. Please tell me, what was their impression of Jesus and Satan after meeting them at the park? Do they actually have live, dressed up Jesus & Satan walking around like Cinderella at Disney World? I suppose you would have included that picture if they had. Maybe that would have been too much?



    report abuse
     

      Amanda

      posted February 11, 2011 at 3:24 pm


      They did have a Jesus walking around, but it was too crowded to get a pic with him (or is it Him?). They also had guys dressed up as Roman soldiers, but no Satan.

      The crucifixion reenactment scared the bejeesus out of my son (4yrs old).



      report abuse
       

        Brandon

        posted February 11, 2011 at 3:34 pm


        We took our kids to a thing called The Christmas Train here, which also featured a crucifixion scene with live actors. Afterwards, our 4yo foster daughter said, “When I grow up, I wanna be a soldier.” Fair enough. It’s one of the few careers that still offers a pension.



        report abuse
         

Jen

posted February 11, 2011 at 3:09 pm


too much.



report abuse
 

    Laura

    posted February 11, 2011 at 3:29 pm


    We are leaving for Orlando next Friday. Perhaps I need to add this to the itinerary. What did you think about it Amanda?



    report abuse
     

      Amanda

      posted February 11, 2011 at 3:41 pm


      If my mil wouldn’t have bought the tix, I wouldn’t have gone, lol



      report abuse
       

        Laura

        posted February 11, 2011 at 3:47 pm


        Lol yeah, I Just looked at the ticked prices, too much. I’d rather just head out to the beach on our downtime from the big parks.



        report abuse
         

Pingback: Tweets that mention PICTURES OF THE DAY: My Facebook friend met Jesus and Satan in Florida… | Jesus Needs New PR -- Topsy.com

scott overpeck

posted February 11, 2011 at 3:22 pm


I had no idea Jesus looked so much like Fabio. Its amazing how middle easterners have changed so much over the years.



report abuse
 

bman

posted February 11, 2011 at 3:25 pm


Yay O-Town! We rock.

Haha. I’ve lived here my whole life and haven’t stepped foot in that place. It just looks like the final desolation of the gospel.



report abuse
 

Jason Boyett

posted February 11, 2011 at 3:40 pm


I’m curious why they used two different Jesii in those cut-outs. Because those guys don’t match, right? Is part of the “Holy Land Experience” deciding which Jesus we’re supposed to worship?



report abuse
 

    Amanda

    posted February 11, 2011 at 3:44 pm


    Nice pluralization of Jesus. The guy walking around dressed as Jesus was also different. However, they were all white.



    report abuse
     

Saint Schizophrenia

posted February 11, 2011 at 4:04 pm


This is a place in need of a good category 5 hurricane.



report abuse
 

Eric

posted February 11, 2011 at 4:17 pm


When Jesus met the Knights of Ni, they came away impressed.

(Then there was the bit with the 5,000 herrings….)



report abuse
 

James

posted February 11, 2011 at 8:34 pm


What’s with the face hole in Satan’s torso??? That’s just weird!!!



report abuse
 

David Poole

posted February 11, 2011 at 8:47 pm


I love how the first picture of Jesus looks like someone photoshopped Christian Bale’s face onto a Jesus picture…



report abuse
 

LRA

posted February 12, 2011 at 7:54 pm


Isn’t this theme park featured in Bill Maher’s “Religulous”?



report abuse
 

nazani14

posted February 12, 2011 at 10:30 pm


Ginger hair, lace-up long shirt- wait, Jesus was a Saxon?



report abuse
 

Joe Crenshaw

posted February 13, 2011 at 8:31 am


Another $$$$$ Grab for naive Christians . . . looks cheesy.



report abuse
 

    Amanda

    posted February 14, 2011 at 12:32 pm


    It is.



    report abuse
     

Leon Bloder

posted February 13, 2011 at 9:29 am


Oh yeah, I visited there with my 6 year old (who may be scarred for life). You can read about my day and see pics from my journey here: http://www.presbymusings.com/2009/10/my-holy-land-experience-or-its-not-easy.html



report abuse
 

    Amanda

    posted February 14, 2011 at 12:35 pm


    Knowing that the satan thing was a bean bag toss totally makes sense now. It’s still weird & creepy, but it makes sense. When I went in January, it was just sitting in the kids’ play section with no explanation. Ridiculous.



    report abuse
     

David in Houston

posted February 13, 2011 at 4:50 pm


If I knew Jesus was a smokin’ hot bear, I’d have given up homosexuality decades ago!



report abuse
 

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.



Previous Posts

More Blogs To Enjoy!!!
Thank you for visiting Jesus Needs New PR. This blog is no longer being updated. Please enjoy the archives. Here are some other blogs you may also enjoy: Red Letters with Tom Davis Recent prayer post on Prayables Most Recent Inspiration blog post Happy Reading!  

posted 10:19:20am Aug. 16, 2012 | read full post »

A Baptist mom meets the Black Eyed Peas…
Aw… my mom dances like that, too. A Baptist mom meets the Black Eyed Peas… is a post from: Jesus Needs New PR

posted 11:21:43am Dec. 30, 2011 | read full post »

Pat Robertson blasts SNL over Jesus, Tebow skit!
Hmm. SNL has poked fun with Jesus before… Chances are, Pat wouldn’t have said anything about this skit had it not been poking fun at Tebow… SNL has used “Jesus” in skits many many times. There seems to be a double standard among some Christians when the religious sati

posted 9:16:03am Dec. 22, 2011 | read full post »

Pirates, bubbles, and Jesus
Merry Christmas… Pirates, bubbles, and Jesus is a post from: Jesus Needs New PR

posted 9:02:42am Dec. 22, 2011 | read full post »

Bad nativity…
@gveitinger Bad nativity… is a post from: Jesus Needs New PR

posted 8:18:59pm Dec. 21, 2011 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.