Jesus Needs New PR

Jesus Needs New PR

‘Prophet’ Cindy Jacobs has a NEW theory about what caused all those dead birds

01-05-11 GI News from Generals International on Vimeo.

Crazy Cindy has been getting phone calls from some of her stormtroopers have been asking her about the death of thousands of birds and fish in Arkansas, etc…

Cindy had an answer for them, too… she had several answers…

According to biblical principles, marriage is between a man and a woman , so we have to say “what happens when a nation makes a decision that’s against God’s principles?” Well, often what happens is that nature itself will begin to talk to us – for instance, violent storms, flooding. And you know there are actually some patterns that you can see where a nation will make a decision that is contrary to the principles of God and after that there is some kind of answer that God gives, being the God of creation, the God who created nature, but we don’t always understand what He’s saying.


Well, there’s something interesting we have been watching – let’s talk about this Arkansas pattern and say, could it be a pattern? We’re going to watch and see. But the blackbirds fell to the ground in Beebe, Arkansas, well the Governor of Arkansas’ name is Beebe. And also, there was something put out of Arkansas called Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell by a former Governor, this was proposed, Bill Clinton. As so, could there be a connection between this passage [Hosea 4] and now that we’ve had the repeal of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell where people now legally in the United States have broken restraints with the Scripture because the Scripture says in Romans 1 that homosexuality is not allowed.

It could be because we have said it’s okay for people who commit these kinds of acts to be recognized in our military for the first time in our history, there is a potential that there is something that actually happened in the land where a hundred thousand drum fish died and also where these birds just fell out of the air.

Found at the always insightful Dangerous Minds.

Comments read comments(25)
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Ben of BenandJacq

posted January 10, 2011 at 6:15 pm

My head hurts.

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    posted January 10, 2011 at 6:24 pm

    Mine too Ben. Pass the Advil.

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posted January 10, 2011 at 6:15 pm

I wish Kristen Wiig from SNL would impersonate her…would
be funnier than her Susie Orman… It literally blows my mind
people seriously consider Jacobs’ words.

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Alan Williams

posted January 10, 2011 at 6:24 pm

Isn’t there a verse somewhere about that outfit?

Très tragique.

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Jesse W

posted January 10, 2011 at 6:51 pm

She’s missed the obvious answer: the birds themselves were gay and have received in their own persons the due penalty of their error.

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    posted January 10, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    That $hit is funny!!

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    Lorie Neighbors

    posted January 10, 2011 at 10:54 pm

    That is the only reasonable explanation!

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posted January 10, 2011 at 6:53 pm

I cannot stand Jacobs or any of her “apostles” and “prophets” cohorts. They make a mockery of the church. And the thing is, people listen to them! I’m finding their books in the homes of friends who are normal, mainstream, wonderful Christian people. I’m actually putting together a binder that I’ve been working on that has all of the failed prophecies and other info proving what wackos these people are.

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posted January 10, 2011 at 7:46 pm

“what happens when a nation makes a decision that’s against God’s principles?”

Nothing. Nothing happens. See Finland. And Japan.


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    posted January 11, 2011 at 10:58 am

    The problem is that these people don’t consider those nations “God’s Nation” like they do America. Since America is “God’s Nation” then God will punish us when we’re wrong. Too bad they’re wrong about America.

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    posted January 12, 2011 at 10:36 am

    Cindy needs to look at this article about the healthiest states in America. The top 5 are gay friendly and not in the bible belt.

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Josephine Holmes

posted January 10, 2011 at 8:22 pm

Yes…God chucks birds out of the sky when we sin…he also kills little kittens when we tell lies!

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The Armadillo

posted January 10, 2011 at 8:37 pm

You see, the birds died in Arkansas, which when you look at it looks like Kansas. As you know, Dorothy lived in Kansas, but then she went to Oz and murdered a lady. She then befriended members of the Lollipop Guild, an obvious allegory to the Rainbow Coalition. After this, she got stoned in a poppy field. Due to all of this wanton hedonism, and our glorification of it, God decided to kill a bunch of birds. It’s so obvious it’s painful.

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Recovering Alumni

posted January 10, 2011 at 9:11 pm

As Christians, I think we have to decry this kind of message in the strongest possible terms.

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Lorie Neighbors

posted January 10, 2011 at 10:57 pm

I gossiped today and a crow fell out of the sky in my back yard. Hot dang!

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    posted January 11, 2011 at 3:49 am

    Doubt it is related. If one of the biggest nations going against God’s principles makes a couple of thousand birds die. Your gossip couldn’t be enough to kill one, right? Maybe enough for a fly to get sick? Or maybe it isn’t proportional like that…

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posted January 11, 2011 at 4:26 am

It’s like some kind of spiritual cold reading. Well, it could be this, or it could be that. . .This person serves an interesting god. He appears to be incapable of coherent communication. He’s omniscient, but only for a nanosecond at a time. “Let’s see, I’ll send dead birds to tell them. . .what ws I going to tell them again? Oh well, the birds are on their way. I’m sure they will figure it out. Now, where did I put that galaxy. . .”

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posted January 11, 2011 at 9:35 am

Wow…the fact that people believe this stuff is amazing. Sometimes I wonder if God actually gave some people brains.

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posted January 11, 2011 at 10:51 am

And people wonder why Christians are though of by so many as pinheads?

if you want to argue against lifestyles that aren’t in line with the Word, try starting with a relationship with someone and the effects said things have on their relationships with each other and their Creator…not random fish/wildlife reports, coupled with bizarre exegesis/ISO-gesis-and mixed with some psuedo-political gobbledegook….i’m physically nauseous from this lady….

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posted January 11, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Bible concordances are dangerous!

Stay blessed…john

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posted January 11, 2011 at 3:06 pm

I didn’t watch the video I can find something better to do with 12:44 of my life that I’d lose by listening to that mess, but read the “answers”. Is that like some 6 Degrees of Separation? Well connect this dot to that dot to the dot WAY over there & wha la it comes back to Kevin Bacon! See it’s all Kevin’s fault! Or maybe we can find a way to pin it on Tom Hanks. Kevin was born in Philly, Tom did a movie Philadelphia, both were in Apollo 13, hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

But yes all these crazies need to HUSH UP!

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posted January 11, 2011 at 3:12 pm

it’s an Amy Sedaris skit from the show “Exit 57″

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Cotton Rohrscheib

posted January 12, 2011 at 11:04 am

I wish I could have that 5 minutes added back to my life…

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posted January 12, 2011 at 12:11 pm

I like what Greg Boyd twittered:

“Heard on CNN that a renowned prophetess says the strange bird deaths in Arkansas expressed God’s anger over gays being open in the military. So it seems God is OK with killing, but gets ticked if openly gay people are allowed to participate. Hard to imagine a more bizzare diety.”

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