Jesus Needs New PR

Jesus Needs New PR

The Curse of the Sexual Innuendo once again STRIKES Oral Roberts…

It’s crazy to think that life and culture was once so innocent, so pure, so holy that a preacher named Oral could put this picture on the cover of his magazine with the headline “Get Under the ‘Spout’ Where the Glory Comes Out!” and not think one thing about it?

What was it like to engage faith in a world that was still un-Orally fixated?

And you know very well that that woman in the picture had been under the spout that Oral was referring to. You can see its GlOry written all over her Orally-graced face.



What year did this magazine cover release again?

HOLY CRAP…. THIS COVER IS FROM 2010? Are you kidding?

It can’t be. It has be from 1978… or 1962… or heck, 1989…

But no… this a 2010 cover of Miracles magazine…

Who edited this thing, a 90-year-old blind nun?!

But in all seriousness, where can I find this spout you speak of? I want some of what she’s having.

Oh, and just in case you think this woman is faking it cover is a fake, here’s your proof

Thank you Aaron for sending this to me.

Comments read comments(23)
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Jamie the Very Worst Missionary

posted September 29, 2010 at 4:40 pm

Do you *really* want some of what she’s having?

I do not. No thank you. Uh-uh. No Oral Roberts glory spout for me.

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    Matthew Paul Turner

    posted September 29, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    No. Not really. Just thought it was funny. The crazy thing is I really did assume it was an old cover… and wrote all of that first part of the post thinking that way… and then I looked…


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ed cyzewski

posted September 29, 2010 at 4:45 pm

That’s some wiggly and curvaceous type-face for “miracles.” If that itself isn’t a sin…

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posted September 29, 2010 at 4:45 pm

Ok, so it IS possible for people to be so wrapped up in their own Christian bubble to not see the double entendre in the sub header. But if that is the case, why are there air quotes around the word ‘spout?’

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    Matthew Paul Turner

    posted September 29, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    Because there’s no actual spout, of course.

    Which is sort of HILARIOUS.

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posted September 29, 2010 at 5:04 pm

Spout, outpouring, release, whatever. Faith is messy. Get out the black light to reveal the truth…

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posted September 29, 2010 at 5:11 pm

Okay. You got me. Your blog is genius. I bow.

Oral. *snicker*

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RevJATB (KnowTea)

posted September 29, 2010 at 5:42 pm

Well, I like Oral as much as the next guy, but …

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Joe Crenshaw

posted September 29, 2010 at 6:15 pm

Oral Roberts? You sure that isn’t a Jimmy Swaggert title?

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Emily M.

posted September 29, 2010 at 8:50 pm

Hahaha.. I’ve heard that phrase before, sadly.

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posted September 29, 2010 at 9:11 pm

I didn’t want to laugh. MPT, shame on you! lol…

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posted September 29, 2010 at 9:46 pm

Hmmm… I wonder if these verses ever come into play… 2 Kings 2:23-25; 1 Sam 24:6,7; 1 Sam 26:11

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posted September 29, 2010 at 9:59 pm

Or Eph 5:3,4. How could this be construed in any other way than filthiness, silly talk, crude joking? Could it in any way bring glory to Jesus? In ANY way?
Do you think Jesus WANTS your PR?

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    Sbux Josh

    posted September 29, 2010 at 10:27 pm

    1) Mr. Roberts is not God’s ‘anointed’

    2) What kind of bear is best?

    3) what kind of fundie is best? OH SHHIT HERE COME THe BEARS!!

    But seriously, why should MPT have to follow what Ephesians says?

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      posted September 29, 2010 at 10:44 pm

      There goes the neighborhood…

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posted September 29, 2010 at 10:10 pm

Facepalm. Both at that cover, and the comments from KB.

But moreso at the cover.

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posted September 30, 2010 at 1:16 am

Well it is biblical. Ezekiel 23:20 – NIV There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

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Spiritual Klutz

posted September 30, 2010 at 7:45 am

Oh my gosh, I really didn’t believe you until I checked it out. Somebody needs a damn editor.

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posted September 30, 2010 at 10:41 am

Who names their kid Oral?

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James Brooks

posted October 3, 2010 at 12:47 pm

This is seriously unfortunate…

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