Jesus Needs New PR

Here’s the story. My thoughts/questions are in bold.

SOURCE: A local pastor’s complaint about a brand of underwear being sold with “pornographic” pictures on the packaging at the Cullman Walmart reportedly led to a recall of the product.

Okay, so first of all… pornographic for whom? Probably his wife, right? I know a lot of women who like hanging out in the men’s underwear aisle at Walmart! Seriously, those Fruit of the Loom models are hot.

Fruit of the Loom Men's Brief 3 Pack

Frank Boren, pastor of New Hope Christian Center Church of God in the Springhill community, said he noticed the huge packages on the questionable underwear package while shopping at the store in May.

“I was in there shopping for some underwear one day, and looked at the men’s pictures on the packaging,” he said.
(He sounds jealous.) “On a few of the packages they were very pornographic in the way they were dressed, in skimpy underwear, (It’s underwear Frank!) so I went to the manager and asked her if she thought it was inappropriate to be displayed.”

After filing a few more complaints in the following weeks, Boren said the questionable and huge packaging eventually disappeared (Disappeared? As in magically? Perhaps Jesus?) from the store’s shelves.

Fruit of the Loom Men's 5-Pack Assorted Color Low Rise Briefs

Boren said he wanted to thank Valentine and Cullman County Sheriff Tyler Roden for their assistance in the matter. (He called the sheriff? What?)

When asked about his role in the reported recall, Sheriff
Roden said he listened to Boren’s complaint — though the issue mostly fell to the discretion of Walmart officials.

“He was concerned about the packaging on some of the men’s underwear being too revealing (I wonder if he resists looking down in the shower), in his opinion, to the point that he thought it was pornographic,” he said.

Pornographic… Really?

Seriously, it sounds like Frank has too much time on his hands (and potentially other issues).

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