Jesus Needs New PR

Jesus Needs New PR

Alabama Pastor calls men’s underwear at Walmart ‘pornographic’!

Here’s the story. My thoughts/questions are in bold.

SOURCE: A local pastor’s complaint about a brand of underwear being sold with “pornographic” pictures on the packaging at the Cullman Walmart reportedly led to a recall of the product.


Okay, so first of all… pornographic for whom? Probably his wife, right? I know a lot of women who like hanging out in the men’s underwear aisle at Walmart! Seriously, those Fruit of the Loom models are hot.

Fruit of the Loom Men's Brief 3 Pack

Frank Boren, pastor of New Hope Christian Center Church of God in the Springhill community, said he noticed the huge packages on the questionable underwear package while shopping at the store in May.

“I was in there shopping for some underwear one day, and looked at the men’s pictures on the packaging,” he said.
(He sounds jealous.) “On a few of the packages they were very pornographic in the way they were dressed, in skimpy underwear, (It’s underwear Frank!) so I went to the manager and asked her if she thought it was inappropriate to be displayed.”


After filing a few more complaints in the following weeks, Boren said the questionable and huge packaging eventually disappeared (Disappeared? As in magically? Perhaps Jesus?) from the store’s shelves.

Fruit of the Loom Men's 5-Pack Assorted Color Low Rise Briefs

Boren said he wanted to thank Valentine and Cullman County Sheriff Tyler Roden for their assistance in the matter. (He called the sheriff? What?)

When asked about his role in the reported recall, Sheriff
Roden said he listened to Boren’s complaint — though the issue mostly fell to the discretion of Walmart officials.


“He was concerned about the packaging on some of the men’s underwear being too revealing (I wonder if he resists looking down in the shower), in his opinion, to the point that he thought it was pornographic,” he said.

Pornographic… Really?

Seriously, it sounds like Frank has too much time on his hands (and potentially other issues).

Comments read comments(18)
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posted July 30, 2010 at 10:42 am

The packaging was changed so now the picture shows the underwear on a loaf of bread…

Glad he didn’t see the “Bob and Larry Underoos…”

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posted July 30, 2010 at 10:49 am

Dude… a NSFW tag would have been appreciated!

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posted July 30, 2010 at 11:00 am

Did he just wake up from a 100-year nap?

Has he never shopped for underwear before or thumbed through the Sears catalog before? I’m pretty sure that the pics on the underwear packages haven’t changed in the past 20-30 years.

The citizens of Cullman can sleep safe knowing they won’t be subjected to smut in their local Wal-Mart. lol

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posted July 30, 2010 at 11:02 am

So, can Tebow sell underwear in Cullman?

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posted July 30, 2010 at 11:05 am

All I can think of is Beavis and Butthead. “Heh heh. Package.”

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RevJATB (KnowTea)

posted July 30, 2010 at 11:30 am

I STILL WANT TO SEE THE PIC OF THE PACKAGE THAT GOT TAKEN OFF THE SHELVES!!! None of the news stories I’ve seen about this have had the journalistic integrity to go out and find a picture of that package! What’s America coming to? “Fair and balanced,” indeed.

(I guess we know what Frank Boren’s coming to.)

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    posted July 30, 2010 at 11:46 am

    Wooooooow. Yup, you went there. I feel like I shouldn’t laugh, but…

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RevJATB (KnowTea)

posted July 30, 2010 at 11:31 am

The Tebow underwear packages will feature him holding an ESV Study Bible in front of his crotch.

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posted July 30, 2010 at 11:37 am

pretty sure i’m going to look this guy up and send him a subscription to the victoria’s secret catalog. or maybe men’s health…..

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Chris Colvin

posted July 30, 2010 at 12:22 pm

Me thinks he protesteth too much.

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posted July 30, 2010 at 9:29 pm

Ironically, in a feed reader, the google ad at the bottom of this post shows more man-flesh than the Hanes. It shows a Mundo Unico Summer Sale of men’s bikini briefs.


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posted July 31, 2010 at 1:05 pm

OK, first of all, I ONLY hang around the men’s underwear section at Walmart looking for witnessing opportunities.

Also? The very first job I ever had was when I was 16, in Hot Springs Arkansas, at the local Walmart (you know, the one out Airport Road?) and the very first day of work I showed up all starry-eyed eager, donned my blue smock and was assigned to….. wait for it…. the men’s underwear dept.

True story.

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posted August 1, 2010 at 7:01 pm

Favourite line from “28 Days” – “check out my package!!!”

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James Stephen

posted August 3, 2010 at 4:25 pm

Cullman is my hometown! It’s definitely a Walmart town. They have a ginormous 24 hour store in a small town and a Walmart distribution center. So, they keep each other in check. Walmart listens to the town and the town listens to Walmart.

Keep in mind, you’re talking about a mostly white, southern baptist, fast food town. This just falls in line.

No offense to my Cullman peeps!

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posted August 4, 2010 at 11:24 am

This is nuts! I cant believe that this guy thinks men’s underwear is pornographic. I dont believe the packaging for the underware has changed in the last 30 years or so. He needs to take a chill pill.

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