Jesus Needs New PR

Jesus Needs New PR

80-year-old PANS my book #HearNoEvil! And I love her for it. (ReTweet!)

The Golden Reviewer read and reviewed my book.

Golden describes herself (I think Golden is a she, but I could be wrong.)… An 80 year old avid reader reviews the newest in Christian fiction and non-fiction with a sprinkle of the secular on top.

Sprinkle of the secular on the top! Even before I read her review of my book, I already love this woman!

So yes, she reviews Hear No Evil.

AND SHE HATED IT. Seriously, she trashed it!


Still… her review is AMAZING.

I love this review. Golden is honest. She tells it like it is. And by far, this is my favorite 1-star review (she posted it on Amazon and lowered my average!) that I have ever received.

So what did Golden write?

This is a very confusing book. Is Turner a christian, an atheist christian or what. The book appears to be part theology, part personal devotion and part rambling of a not so good Baptist who had a crush on Amy Grant. He is forbidden by his parents to attend contemporary concerts, but does so anyway. He is forbidden to listen to certain music, but defies his parents and listens to whatever he chooses. He dreams of becoming the Michael Jackson of christian music, but doesn’t have enough talent. The book is suppose to be funny, but I found it more pathetic than funny. I did not care for Turner’s brand of humor.


Turner’s story is supposedly of innocence, music and the Holy Ghost. Where is the Holy Ghost? I did not sense His presence as I read the book. He is a blogger, speaker and has written other books, which I sincerely hope are better than this one.

Cannot recommend.

I so want to meet Golden. I want to hug her. I want to tell her thank you for being blunt and honest.

Golden, if you read this post, I want you to know that I think you’re awesome. Yes, I am a Christian. I have atheist moments, times when faith doesn’t make sense. But I hope those moments fade by the time I’m 80. And too, I hope I’m as honest as you are. Seriously, thank you for this review.

The Christian world needs more honest people like yourself.

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Ms. Random

posted July 1, 2010 at 3:35 pm

This is one of the things I love most about you. You aren’t afraid to be human in your Christianity. We all have moments were we struggle. We all have moments when we wonder if God has forgotten about us! It doesn’t change the fact that we love Him; greater still that He loves us!

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Jason Boyett

posted July 1, 2010 at 3:41 pm

For what it’s worth, when I read “Hear No Evil,” I didn’t sense the presence of the Holy Ghost either.

But I love that she called you out on defying your parents.

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I am His Beloved

posted July 1, 2010 at 3:42 pm

So I have never read your book. I have no idea who you are other then I think we attended the same college way back when. As a recovering former IFBer I have got to say, YOU GO! How many times where we chastised, guilted, made spectacles of if we had a different point of view other then the one with the microphone? How many? TOO many. So for you to seriously ( I hope you were serious) thank her for her honest opinion is like awesome. It befuddles the minds though of those who only know the unwritten and unspoken rule of ” if you have an opinion other then the one that the man of God has then your wrong and SHAME ON YOU.”
Spot on.

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    Matthew Paul Turner

    posted July 1, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    Thank you. And yes, I was very serious about thanking her.

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stacey fike

posted July 1, 2010 at 4:26 pm

i would take that review as a compliment if i were you.

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posted July 1, 2010 at 4:30 pm

That’s the best 1-star review I’ve ever read. It makes me want to go read all her reviews.

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posted July 1, 2010 at 5:09 pm

Well…the reason I read your book “Hear No Evil” is because someone other than Goldie reviewed it and recommended it.

It didn’t confuse me, but did make me sad to be reminded of so many others who are trapped in fundamentalism like you were. Keep up the good work.

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posted July 1, 2010 at 9:15 pm

I haven’t read your book yet, but honestly Goldie’s review makes me want to!

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Chad Gibbs

posted July 1, 2010 at 9:30 pm

“More pathetic than funny” I’d take that!

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posted July 2, 2010 at 5:49 am

Any publicity is good publicity, right? A “bad” review is better than no review at all. I can only get three & they’re from friends!

Seriously (most of us have used that here, what’s that say?) I loved @I am His Beloved’s words: “As a recovering former IFBer” since I be one, too.

And @Jason’s “But I love that she called you out on defying your parents.” Though she did miss that you led your own mother astray…

I think the Golden Reviewer’s advantage is age — there’s something awesome that happens as we grow older. We care less about what people think about how we think. I would hope to be there now, but I find myself wilting to think that someone dislikes me or my thoughts, my writing or anything.

I totally applaud your attitude here, Matthew. Knowing where you’ve been and understanding many of the struggles — yeah, I have to say, I’m really seeing Jesus in your reaction.

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posted July 2, 2010 at 6:45 am

“…part rambling of a not so good Baptist who had a crush on Amy Grant.”

What a great review! She needs a hug b/c she was willing to say what she thinks, and she isn’t just blowing smoke b/c she got a free book…stellar.

I read your book and was just ticked that I had the “I Can Sing Higher” song by Fresh Fish stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

Otherwise, it was a FUN read…gently provoking and funny along the way…

The smoke blower, Jared

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