Advertisement

Jesus Needs New PR

Jesus Needs New PR

What would YOUR Psalm 23 say?

The Lord is…

my mechanic

my plastic surgeon

my yoga instructor

my president

my lover

I shall not want?

He maketh me to lie down…

in a house with three screaming kids

on a stage in front of thousands

on a dirt floor in Peru

in front of a desk full of paperwork

in a life that wasn’t planned

He leadeth me …

to the sauna at the gym where I can sweat

to the closet with door locked where I can think

Advertisement

to the hiking path in the park where I can pray

to the brand new deck where I can sit and drink sweet tea

to the empty house where I can sit on the couch and play video games

He restoreth my soul: he…

puts me in my place

shows me how I look to everybody else

tells me that I was the one who was right

brings my blood pressure down

finally sends me a check

Yea, though I walk through…

unemployment

an oil spill

cancer treatment

AA

the Nashville flood

I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me…

…Thou preparest…

my awesomeness

Advertisement

my 401K

my foreclosure

my arrogance

my iPhone 4G

before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my…

beer

diet coke

debt

closet full of fashionable clothes

infinity pool

runneth over.

Surely…

my cigarettes and coffee

my friends and family

my health and prosperity

my church and pastor

my pretty face and white smile

…shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Advertisement
Comments read comments(5)
post a comment
Noelle

posted June 21, 2010 at 10:19 am


The lord is my guide and companion.

He maketh me to lie down with a pager.

He leadeth me to my allotted 40 minute alone-time walk with iPod blaring

He restores my soul. He helps me find calm even with my generally cantankerous disposition.

Yea, though I walk through countless heartbreaking stories and impossible situations…

Thou preparest hope life can continue through pain.

In the presence of my enemies, my sarcasm runneth over.

Surely, coffee and pop-tarts shall follow me all the days of my life



report abuse
 

Heather

posted June 21, 2010 at 11:38 am


I like Noelle’s.

The Lord is my Filler, I shall not be empty.
He maketh me to lie down for bed early.
He leadeth me to write and pray and read.
He restores my soul and helps me to find a calm place inside, even when chaos surrounds.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of little boys with bad attitudes and loud voices,
Thou preparest hope in what will come tomorrow and peace with what is here today.
In the presence of my enemies, You do the forgiving for me.
Surely Diet Coke, chocolate-peanutbutter Dove bars and good books shall follow me all the days of my life.



report abuse
 

Katherine

posted June 21, 2010 at 11:52 am


What a neat idea; I’m so glad I stumbled on your blog today
Katherine



report abuse
 

xate

posted June 21, 2010 at 2:32 pm


i absolutely love this idea. it’s fresh.

the LORD is my mentor, i shall not want.
he make’s me lie down on down pillows,
he leads me to accept the things i need,
he fixes my soul.
he guides me in through the gutters safely and with confidence so that all recognize him.
even though my ministry seems small,
i won’t fear for tommorrow,
for you carry me,
your provision and wonders will confort me.
you prepare oportunities and sponsors before me
in the presence of the german government who would see me fail.
you annoint my head with herbal essence,
my coffee cup overflows.
surely laughter and friendships will follow me all the days of my life,
and i will dwell in germany all the days of my earthly life,
and in the house of the Lord forever.



report abuse
 

Jenn

posted June 21, 2010 at 4:57 pm


The Lord is all I have, though I don’t know how to trust Him most days.
I shall not want. I shall not want. I shall not want more to be seen as better…
He maketh me to lie down in a bus or the T to make up for the last nights failed sleep
He leadeth me out the door to run, so I can breathe and be reminded that,
He restoreth my soul: he shows me that he sees everything I don’t even though I insist on the perfection of my vision
Yea, though I walk through abuse, debt, abandonment and pain
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest friends to come around me.
Before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my coffee cups, bookshelves and student debt runneth over.
Surely my anxiety, vodka and friends shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.



report abuse
 

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.



Previous Posts

Real quer Morata de volta
O Real Madrid vai acionar a cláusula de recompra no valor de 32 milhões de euros de Álvaro Morata junto a Juventus, que em junho de 2014 pagou 20 milhões de euros pelo atacante formado nas categorias de base do clube merengue, de acordo com ...

posted 5:46:00am Feb. 05, 2016 | read full post »

Jiangsu Suning confirma Alex Teixeira por 218 milhões
O Jiangsu Suning anunciou nesta sexta-feira a contratação do meia-atacante brasileiro Alex Teixeira por 50 milhões de euros (cerca de R$ 218 milhões), o valor mais alto de sempre pago por um clube da China.Alex Teixeira chega à equipe de ...

posted 5:32:00am Feb. 05, 2016 | read full post »

Falcao pode parar na China; Liverpool quase levou Icardi
O Chelsea ainda tenta negociar o atacante Radamel Falcao nessa temporada - apesar da janela ter fechado ontem.O jornal 'Telegraph' revela que o atacante colombiano esteve na Espanha , ontem, em uma tentativa de se reunir com o ex-clube, ...

posted 5:32:00pm Feb. 03, 2016 | read full post »

Janela europeia de encerra hoje. Veja as últimas noticias!
United se aproxima de jovem promessa do BenficaO Manchester United está em negociações avançadas com o Benfica para a contratação do meia-atacante Renato Sanches .Os Reds ainda estão para realizar sua primeira contratação na janela de ...

posted 7:54:00pm Jan. 31, 2016 | read full post »

United e Inter disputam contratação de Banega
A Inter de Milão pretende contratar o argentino Ever Banega, cujo contrato com o Sevilla termina em junho desse ano. O meio-campo ainda não renovou com a equipe espanhola, o que lhe dá a liberdade para assinar um pré-contrato com qualquer ...

posted 8:13:00am Jan. 27, 2016 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.