Beliefnet
Jesus Needs New PR

The Lord is…

my mechanic

my plastic surgeon

my yoga instructor

my president

my lover

I shall not want?

He maketh me to lie down…

in a house with three screaming kids

on a stage in front of thousands

on a dirt floor in Peru

in front of a desk full of paperwork

in a life that wasn’t planned

He leadeth me …

to the sauna at the gym where I can sweat

to the closet with door locked where I can think

to the hiking path in the park where I can pray

to the brand new deck where I can sit and drink sweet tea

to the empty house where I can sit on the couch and play video games

He restoreth my soul: he…

puts me in my place

shows me how I look to everybody else

tells me that I was the one who was right

brings my blood pressure down

finally sends me a check

Yea, though I walk through…

unemployment

an oil spill

cancer treatment

AA

the Nashville flood

I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me…

…Thou preparest…

my awesomeness

my 401K

my foreclosure

my arrogance

my iPhone 4G

before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my…

beer

diet coke

debt

closet full of fashionable clothes

infinity pool

runneth over.

Surely…

my cigarettes and coffee

my friends and family

my health and prosperity

my church and pastor

my pretty face and white smile

…shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

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