Jesus Needs New PR

A new book suggests that Christian Nationalism is bringing their “good news” to Canada!

O Canada… my condolences.

According to one reporter north of our border, the timing of [Marci McDonald’s] potentially bound-to-be-explosive book, The Armageddon Factor: the Rise of Christian Nationalism in Canada, which hits bookstore today, might be is, if not sublime, downright divine.

And it seems that Canadians are interested in what author Marci McDonald has to say, too! Currently the title sits at #4 on Amazon Canada’s best-seller list.

Well, Canada, since you’re not familiar with how inanimate objects like ideas and government and Sarah Palin become Christianized, here are a few possible signs that you might see…

  1. Look for the words “Put Prayer in Parliament!” to appear on signs, billboards, and bumper stickers. And the occasional sled. It’s a catchy slogan. And Christians love the letter “P.”
  2. Whatever your word is for “Liberty,” look for a college of the same name located about 150 kilometers from Ottawa. THAT college is a training ground for would-be faith-based nationalists. And their hockey team probably sucks.
  3. A medium-sized city, probably in some place like Saskatchewan, will grow into the Canadian Mecca for all-things moral, family, and Christian. Keep an eye out for church-going “psychologists,” especially the ones who have radio shows. Wait. Does Saskatchewan have radio stations?
  4. Outspoken Christian hockey players will begin thanking Jesus for directing their pucks.
  5. If the current leader of the Yukon territory is female, hot, and “just like you,” run!
  6. If Canada has any well-know evangelical Christians, look for them to begin chillin’ with well-known Mormons.
  7. If you don’t have a “Stephen Baldwin” in Canada, don’t worry, you can have ours.
  8. I suspect that Christian nationalists will also want to turn you into a English-only society! For starters, Christians hate France, but too, bi-lingual messaging is difficult. And duh, when read in French, the book of Psalms sounds gay!
  9. No matter what Israel does, you will love her! YOU MUST LOVE HER. No. LOVE. HER.  Shalom.

Found at Christian Nightmares.

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