Jesus Creed

In the good ol’ USA, high schools and sports are combined. Which means, every high school has a “nickname.” Most recent debates about nicknames have bee about political correctness, especially with respect to Native Americans. (I’ll avoid that one for now.) I happen to have grown up with one of the cruelest nicknames known to mankind. (Which maybe I’ve mentioned before.)
We were, and are, and (as the liturgy might say) always will be, the Freeport Pretzels. That’s right — our school fight song was about being the Pretzels! “On Freeport, On Freeport…” Imagine being strapped with that as your hope: “When I grow up and play football I want to be a Pretzel!” I can see wrestling teams wanting that kind of name. What names have you come across?
There are other names that rival the Pretzels, but few outflank them: the Monroe Cheesemakers, the Cobden Appleknockers, etc..
One of the lamest nicknames ever, taken on by the home of such notables as John Ortberg, Rockford East High School, is the E-Rabs. E: East high, R: Red, A: and, B: Black. Is that lame, or what? What do you say to your son or daughter, when they are little and watching games against Vikings, and they say, “Daddy, what is an E-Rab?” What can you tell them but the truth: “Nothing. It’s just a funny little acronym.” How do you inspire younger kids to grow up to be acronyms?

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