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Scientology vs. Kabbalah: A Spiritual Battle for Celebrity Souls

As if it isn’t enough to be badgered by paparazzi and crazed fans, now David and Victoria Beckham, Britain’s celebrity royals, are reportedly being fought over by Tom Cruise and Madonna. Does Tom want the soccer phenom to star in his next movie? Nope. Does Madonna want the former Spice Girl to do a duet? Nope. According to MSNBC.com’s The Scoop, Madge and Tom are waging a battle to win the super couple over to Kabbalah and Scientology, respectively.

Pictures of Posh with Cruise’s fiance, Katie Holmes, have been splashed all over the celebrity gossip magazines for the past few months. But it seems that Jewish mysticism is winning out: Those same tabloids are now carrying pictures with Mrs. Beckham sporting the red string bracelet popular among Kabbalah enthusiasts.

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“Perhaps Madonna and her husband Guy Ritchie have the edge,” Rick Ross of Cultnews.com tells Scoop, “since Ritchie after all is a Brit and his wife keeps a house in the English countryside.”

Perhaps Madonna and Cruise should just get together and form a religion called Sciencabbalism. Maybe then they’d finally land America’s celebrity royal, Oprah–who according to reports, has so far been able to resist the efforts of both the couch jumper and the Material Girl.

  • Joey

    Oprah is more powerful than any alien god or Kabbalist magician. Her power is great…but very, very dangerous. I was just thinking that Scientology and Kabbalist seem to be claiming every Hollywood soul…I kind of made up the story that the two factions were at war, in some ancient, epic struggle with each other. (I make up funny stories like this a lot @@.) Interesting to see that I was almost kinda right. God bless!>

  • Constance

    Anti-semitism is alive and kicking. There are also a lot of celebrities who believe in Christianity. Especially, truly bizarre versions of Christianity — like Jesus is a ganster? — I don’t see derisive comments about such idiocy here, do I?>

  • http://www.educational-technology.com Steve

    Constance makes a good point about anti-Semitism perhaps being implied in the reporting of Cruise and Madonna, but not a cult Christian evangelist. However, if she has no evidence of such a cult evangelical effort, she may reflect only a bit of anti-Semitic paranoia. BTW, it seems quite a strech to link Madonna with anything legitimately Jewish, or even religious.>

  • David

    What the article does not do is make the distinction between ‘real kabbalah’ and the ‘Kabbalah Center’ version of this ancient teaching. I make this point only to distance the authentic teachings of this rich tradition from the mass market version the Bergs are selling to the world, which is the brand all the celebs are going after. I spend a couple years invovled with the Kabbalah Center and found that there is this strong ‘give us your money’ mentality combined with the need to cotrol the actions of it’s members. At one point it was suggested that maybe I should quit my job and devote my energies towards helping the Center more. it’s funny to see how the Kabbalah Center and Scientology are being group together more and more. In many ways the two are more a like than they may want to give credit to. So in future reporting on this subject, may I suggest that the writers try to make the distinction between the Kabbalah Center and real Kabbalistic teachings.>

  • johnny

    i understand that this is a satirical article, but david’s comments bring overall ignorance about kabbalah into sharp relief. madonna, of course, is entitled to believe what she wants to believe – and even to evangelize, but the crass commercialization of jewish mysticism is a cheapening of spirituality. people have become very comfortable with calling madonna’s kabbalah “kabbalah.” … scientology is a young religion, clearly cultish. any comparison of this to the thousands-years-long rabbinical struggle to reconcile good and evil, intuit the origins and fate of the universe, and live with selfless grace represented in the kabbalah is offensive and absurd.>

  • johnny

    that first sentence was ambiguous. understand i am agreeing with david’s sentiments.>

  • liz

    I would like to see them more concerned over the non-celeb, non-rich.>

  • Anonymous

    What if all religions stand together to form 1 central union to fight the real source.>

  • http://www.andrewcort.com Andrew Cort, author of ‘The American Psyche in Search of its Soul’

    It’s so easy for celebrities, like the rest of us, to forget: the simple distinction between a genuine spiritual teaching and a cult, is that a real teacher helps you free your mind of thoughtless, absurd, prejudicial foolishness and learn to actually think, clearly, for oneself — while a cult leader tells you what you must believe, what you must think, and what you must do.

  • http://www.wwwuggsoutlet.co.uk UGG Outlet

    I am happy to find this post very useful for me, as it contains lot of information UGG OutletI always prefer to read the quality content and this thing I found in you post. Thanks for sharing.

  • http://www.torahcafe.com/jewishvideo.php?vid=ddac90364 Brit

    Wow, they are really trying to covince someone to join their spiritual groups??? They should be making those decisions based on their beliefs, thoughts, etc not on which groups have the higher ranking celebs! Thanks for sharing.

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