Beliefnet
How Great Thou Part

Do you make New Years Resolutions for your relationship?

You should.

Consider it akin to the annual physical. If we don’t keep up with our emotional health one year runs into the next and before you know it valuable time has been wasted.

The end of a year brings with it an energy which should be harnessed.

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It reminds us we deserve more happiness. Better yet?  That we are capable of taking matters into our own hands, writing it down and empowering ourselves to make it happen.

That is both exciting and empowering. 

If you are in a healthy and happy relationship you already have the beginnings of a great 2018!

However, if your relationship is struggling and/or you are unhappy, it’s time for your relationship resolutions to include two words.

Unfortunately, they may be words you are not yet ready to hear. 

It’s incredibly difficult to give up on love and even harder to walk away from the one you love. 

However, If you can relate to any of the 8 situations below your New Year’s Relationship Resolutions may need to include them.

1. Long-Term Unhappiness: 

If you have been unhappy in your relationship for several years…

MOVE ON!

This is tough for people in marriages. There’s just too much at stake. Therefore, moving on doesn’t literally need to mean moving out of the house. It means it’s time to take control of your own personal happiness and reclaim it. There’s more than likely a reason you have stayed in an unhappy relationship for several years – possibly because you are the only one interested in working on it.

So retire the exhausted monologue with your uninterested partner and begin to move forward yourself. 

What does this mean? Work on yourself either by counseling, taking classes, reading books, reinventing your career, etc.

Empower yourself and your lost independence. The good news is as your own relationship with yourself improves this will either motivate your spouse to want to move forward with you or motivate you to see it’s time to move on entirely.

2. Cheaters:

If your spouse has cheated on you it’s time to…

MOVE ON!

I’m going to make a controversial caveat here – some relationships actually do survive an affair and both partners find happiness together again. If your Significant Other has cheated and is both devastated and remorseful they have hurt you in this manner and willing to seek couples counseling – it may be worth staying and working on the relationship.

However, if they lack remorse or you either suspect or can confirm they have cheated on you multiple times – move on.

It’s really that simple. 

No individual deserves to be hurt this way.

3. Liars:

If your SO has consistently told you lies it’s time to…

MOVE ON!

Or if they repeatedly lie to others, there’s a fairly good chance they are lying to you whether you have picked up on it yet or not.

Bottom line – healthy relationships involve trust and this reinforces the kind of security a solid partnership demands.

4. Fear:

If you are staying in a relationship because you are afraid to leave it’s time to…

MOVE ON!

The longer we remain in unhealthy relationships the harder it can be to leave. It may begin to interpret ‘feeling comfortable’ as true ‘fear’ rather than complacency. It can also be we have somehow forfeited our independence by becoming emotionally or financially reliant on a partner.

Bottom line – fear is rarely a good thing to base a decision on.

5. Repeated Pain:

If someone continues to hurt you in the same manner over and over again, it’s time to…

MOVE ON!

In a healthy relationship, a person would never dream of repeatedly hurting the one they love.

You deserve better than to put up with repeated bad behavior. We don’t sign up for relationships to put up with another person we join together to love and appreciate one another. And hopefully, in the process, we become better people when joined together.

There is no reason to allow another individual to continually mistreat you.

6. Difficult Behavior:

If an individual overwhelms and diminishes the person you are by controlling, disrespectful and selfish behavior it’s time to…

MOVE ON!

A difficult personality will assuredly make your life difficult.

If you are in a relationship where you are becoming less of who you are by revolving around a demanding individual it’s time to move on. Every single human being has a unique and special purpose. We are all put here to grow and share our God-given gifts and absolutely no person has the right to hinder that by demanding we change and cater to how they believe we should be.

Quite simply God does not make mistakes.

7. Loneliness:

If you find yourself living with someone yet feeling alone it is time to…

MOVE ON!

Relationships need emotional intimacy to thrive and if you are experiencing loneliness chances are you are lacking it.

It can feel less lonely to live alone than remain with an individual who makes you feel that way.

8. Extremely Unhealthy Behavior:

If you are in a relationship with an individual who exhibits extreme behavior and/or an illness such as alcoholism, narcissism, abuse, gambling, etc. it is time to…

MOVE ON!

Unless this individual wants and seeks counseling themselves it is time to move on.

Fixers, rescuers, and pleasers believe they can save the one they love when in fact, only that person can use their free will to decide to choose and ask for help.

 

A new year is a good time to assess all aspects of your life.

It is also difficult to achieve any other personal or professional resolutions when we are in unhappy homes.

Some relationships are best left behind us as painful a reality as that may be.

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E-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
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