Beliefnet
How Great Thou Part

“So when IS this divorce finalizing anyway?” asks my friend Rosalita.

I want to answer her.

The truth is I dragged this out for so long (the not leaving part – not the actual getting the divorce part) that I am like a dinosaur – the AOL of divorce.

The poster girl for “how not to get divorced.” The author of “How to Make Your Unhappy Marriage Last as Long as Possible.”

To continue the rant I could be considered the frequent flyer of emotional baggage or perhaps the viral video for enablers.

A woman who stayed in an unhappy marriage for so long that I could conceivably have an endurance term named after me: The Iron Woman of Divorce or maybe a whole event, the Triathlete of Misery.

Whatever! Until you are in these shoes you just don’t know the lengths you will go to kid yourself until you finally rid yourself of the need to keep the relationship together.

Of course, I try and remind myself that through great personal challenges we ultimately become better people. Though I have to say in my case it is particularly challenging to try and be the best of me right now.

No, my marriage has not yet dissolved into the ugly antonym called divorce.

I know one thing for sure. I wish I hadn’t emotionally authored, “How to Make Your Unhappy Marriage Last as Long as Possible.” I wish I had gotten out sooner. I wish I hadn’t tricked myself into believing things would get better.
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