Beliefnet
How Great Thou Part

Divorce is trying. There are no ands, ifs or buts about it.

I have what I like to call my ‘divorce accessories.’

Tears (they’re like diamonds – a girl can’t have enough of them)
Extra pounds (what I refer to as “30 pounds of ‘Ralph'”)
Black attire (it covers the pounds and the falling tears)

The problem is in divorce it’s hard to underdress. You are pretty much over accessorized daily. So as good as your intentions might be you end up emotionally gaudy and I might have been better off staying in some nights rather than show off my bad fashion.

Only I spent these many months crying while my girlfriends kept asking for the old Colleen.

“I know, I know,” I would sniffle. “I want to find her too! How about we look here? Let’s try this restaurant. I’m sure a glass of cab will bring her back. No, not quite – that just alerted the new Colleen to the tears she had over accessorized with for the evening out.”

It’s just plain hard to look emotionally fashionable with all this pain. I wish someone had told me that. I wish someone had said STAY HOME – protect yourself, your family and your friends. Don’t keep pushing yourself to be mainstream when the extra pounds you’re carrying aren’t allowing you to fit into your clothes anyhow.

The world won’t stop because you take a temporary break from everything social, PTA, volunteer or anything else related. Actually, the temporary self-protection may save you from the fashion faux pas of wearing all those divorce accessories out in public.

You might heal faster if instead of dragging yourself out to keep looking for the old you – you stay at home comfortable that a new you is emerging.

Hopefully she will be much better dressed.
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E-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
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