Pale Pink Tulip II
Among my other activities, I run a writing group for people with addiction issues, past or present. I call it “Memoirs of Addiction and Recovery.” We usually begin with a freewriting exercise, and either I or one of the group members supplies a prompt. A couple of weeks ago, the prompt was: “I know I can trust someone when ___________________.”
I typically write along with the group. What I came up with in response to this prompt surprised me, and I wanted to share it here.
I know I can trust someone when I’ve been to the mat with him or her and we’ve helped each other to rise. When I look into his/her eyes and I see the person looking at me looking into me as I look into him or her. When there is not just “me” and “you” but a tangible “us” that both “I” and “thou” want to ensure not only survives, but thrives. When there is either the absence of betrayal for long enough to know that betrayal is no longer an option, or there has been betrayal and the healing from it has been complete, and has cost us both so much pain, and so much pain about the other’s pain, that we can never, ever do that again. When there is not only love, but also empathy, and not only empathy but understanding, so that we each understand that to betray the trust would violate the love, and we both know what that would feel like, and we never want either of us, ever, to have to feel that way or, if we already have and have already healed, to feel that way again.
This, it turns out, is trust, for me. I’m interested in hearing how you, out there in cyberspace, would fill in that blank and would like to hear your thoughts, feelings, ideas, and experiences, either here or as comments in the Art, Healing, and Transformation group.
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© 2008, David J. Bookbinder