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Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together Archives

10 Reasons Couples Therapy Needs a Spiritual Base

posted by Linda Mintle

Let’s say your marriage is hurting and you know you need help. If you are a Christian couple, does it matter who you see and what approach the person uses to help you? Absolutely. So much of couples therapy is […]

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Will You Rate Your Marriage and See Where You Stand?

posted by Linda Mintle

It’s not uncommon for couples to come to therapy and a therapist to ask, “On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate your marriage?” Even couples who don’t come to therapy will occasionally think about this. What […]

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Dr. Linda, I Was Nice, But It Didn’t Seem to Matter

posted by Linda Mintle

Couples come in to therapy with this complaint. “I did nice things for my spouse, but it doesn’t seem to matter. She doesn’t even notice. I don’t get it.” Honestly, they usually don’t get it. They fail to see that […]

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6 Signs of a Failing Relationship

posted by Linda Mintle

Kim and Mark were hopeless romantics when they fell in love. But lately, the marriage was faltering and both were considering divorce. When they came to see me, I saw six signs of distress that told me things were not […]

A Marital Lesson from Hosea

posted by Linda Mintle

As a marital therapist for the past 30 years, I have seen too many couples divorce over fixable problems. When I talk about fixable problems I am referring to couples who stop liking each other, grow apart and refuse to […]

Couple Therapy For One Please

posted by Linda Mintle

Susan’s marital distress reached a tipping point, leading her to see a marital therapist. Her chief complaint was that her husband refuses to change, blames her for all the family problems, doesn’t hold a steady job and rarely takes responsibility […]

How Happy Couples Deal With Conflict

posted by Linda Mintle

  How many times have you heard a couple say they need to work on resolving conflict? Well, it may surprise you to know that conflict resolution is not the solution to happy marriages. My parents were married 67 years […]

Previous Posts

8 Questions: Are You A Hard Worker or Workalholic?
In the same way a drug addict uses cocaine or an alcoholic downs booze, work can have an anesthetizing effect on negative emotions. People use work to escape and avoid unpleasant emotional states. But because hard work is so sanctioned in our society, it is an addiction often minimized. Our once

posted 6:00:40am Mar. 27, 2015 | read full post »

Breaking the Mental Habit of Worry
Because worry is in the mind, it is a mental habit that must be broken. Here are a few practical tips to help break the worry habit: Identify the thought behind the worried or anxious feeling. Let it come and don’t try to suppress it with thoughts like, “Stop worrying” “Don’t do this

posted 6:00:40am Mar. 25, 2015 | read full post »

Hurt By a Conflict? How Do You ReBuild Trust?
You've heard the saying, trust is easy to break, hard to repair. How do you go about building trust with someone you’ve hurt! The key is to know the other person’s world and reliably respond to it. Do what you say. Keep your promises. Empathize with the other person’s issue and try to see t

posted 6:00:39am Mar. 23, 2015 | read full post »

Should You Keep Secrets From Your Partner?
I was in the grocery store yesterday, and the tabloids were headlining the secret love child of yet another celebrity couple. Even though we tend to expect this sort of thing from celebrity relationships, secrets are a problem. They don’t usually end well. I am often asked if it is a good idea

posted 6:00:53am Mar. 20, 2015 | read full post »

What's Your Attachment Style in Conflict?
We all develop an insecure or secure bond with our original families. That bond is referred to as an attachment style. The more secure the bond, the better you will deal with conflict. Two bonding styles make conflict difficult--anxious and avoidant. To feel more secure you want to lower your an

posted 6:00:47am Mar. 18, 2015 | read full post »

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