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Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together Archives

Divorce Physically Hurts a Woman’s Heart

posted by Linda Mintle

Their families were surprised. Don and Jackie were getting a divorce after 15 years of marriage.  Don’s sister believes Don will have a difficulty living alone. She fears the stress of the split could cause him serious emotional and health problems. But […]

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Turning A Child Against a Parent

posted by Linda Mintle

Jerry has no relationship with his children now that he and his wife are divorced. Prior to the divorce, Jerry was very involved in their lives. But the relationships took dramatic turns due to something called Parent Alienation Syndrome (PAS). In the […]

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Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon Split: Telling All May Have Been Too Much

posted by Linda Mintle

The gossip train is all a buzz with what looks like a split between pop diva, Mariah Carey and her husband, America’s Got Talent host, Nick Cannon. The usual suspects, TMZ, People, Hollywood Life and others are reporting the spilt, […]

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10 Guidelines for Talking to Your Kids About Marital Separation

posted by Linda Mintle

It’s tragic whenever a marriage comes to a point where two people are struggling to coexist. When a relationship becomes toxic, dangerous, emotionally exhausting or so contentious that two people can’t have a civil conversation, separation can function like a […]

Five Tips to Help Your Child Adjust to a Stepparent

posted by Linda Mintle

Terry slouched on my therapy couch and mumbled, “My mom has a new husband. She wants me to be nice to him, but I don’t feel like being nice. I’m sick and tired of not seeing my dad. I don’t […]

5 Tips to Change a Marriage From Fizzle to Sizzle

posted by Linda Mintle

According to marriage researcher, Paul Amato, 60% of divorces in the U.S. are from low conflict couples. This means these divorces were not characterized by abuse, addiction, repeated infidelity, or even high conflict. The marriages just fizzled. Couples stopped paying […]

Are You in a Spending Competition for Your Kids During the Holidays?

posted by Linda Mintle

I am divorced and think my ex spends way too much money on Christmas gifts for our two young kids. This is causing tension between us. It feels like a competition I can’t win. I find myself spending too much […]

The Kids Are Gone! Are You More At Risk for Divorce?

posted by Linda Mintle

The last child has now left the nest. The house is quiet. You look at that person you’ve been married to for so many years and yet, he/she feels like a stranger. There isn’t much to talk about except to […]

A Possible Divorce Prevention?

posted by Linda Mintle

When you think of preventing divorce, you usually think about improving communication, strengthening the marital friendship and dealing with conflict. What you probably do not think about is how many children were in your family growing up. Yet, one new […]

One Sure Fire Way to Help Your Kids Deal With Divorce

posted by Linda Mintle

Brian isn’t doing too well with his parents’ divorce. Lately he’s showing more aggressive behavior. His divorced parents, Sam and Sue, are concerned about his behavior and seek help. The therapist tells them that their unresolved conflict is causing Brian […]

Is Your Marriage More Than a Contract?

posted by Linda Mintle

The way you think about marriage matters. When marriage is reduced to a set up conditions, you do this, I’ll do that… and as long as we are happy, we stay together, you’ve missed God’s design for marriage. Do you […]

Three Ways to Stop a Marriage from Divorce

posted by Linda Mintle

Ed and Jane were having marital problems.  Jane was at the point of walking out. Ed rarely spoke to her. This once loving couple was now thinking divorce. So what happened? Like too many couples, Ed and Jane waited too […]

Divorce Proof Your Marriage

posted by Linda Mintle

Jack Hayford, gifted pastor, teacher and speaker, posed the question: “Do marriage vows matter?” It’s an important question that deserves more discussion. Hayford states that confronting the problem of divorce among Christians is not “a showdown between those who have […]

Parent Alienation Syndrome

posted by Linda Mintle

In the 1980s, a forensic psychiatrist coined the term parental alienation syndrome (PAS) to describe the efforts of one parent to turn his or her children against the other. The syndrome involves deliberate mental and emotional abuse that can occur […]

Three Divorce Predictors

posted by Linda Mintle

It may surprise you what researchers Alan Booth,  Paul Amato and colleagues at Penn State found to be important predictors of divorce when they studied long term marriage and divorce. 1) Couples who do NOT own a house. House owners are […]

Social Media May Be Evidence Against You in Divorce

posted by Linda Mintle

Up against a tough situation with your divorce or child custody case? Family law attorney, Christian Badali, a partner at Weber Gallagher says, shut down your social media. It can be used against you. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers […]

Negotiating Holidays With Divorced Parents

posted by Linda Mintle

Jennifer wonders if it possible to satisfy everyone’s expectations for the holidays? She and her husband Sam both have divorced parents. This means four sets of parents want to see their grandkids for Christmas. And to complicate things, they all […]

5 Step Parenting Tips to Make It All Work

posted by Linda Mintle

Terry slouched on my therapy couch and mumbled, “My mom has a new husband. She wants me to be nice to him but I don’t feel like being nice.  I’m sick and tired of not seeing my dad. I don’t […]

Are You a Walk Away Wife?

posted by Linda Mintle

Is your wife nagging you? Take this as a good sign. It might mean she is still invested in the marriage and not ready to walk away. Maybe you’ve heard about the Walk-away Wife Syndrome. It’s a phrase that has […]

A Marital Lesson from Hosea

posted by Linda Mintle

As a marital therapist for the past 30 years, I have seen too many couples divorce over fixable problems. When I talk about fixable problems I am referring to couples who stop liking each other, grow apart and refuse to […]

10 Tips to Stay Married For A Life Time

posted by Linda Mintle

I recently received a tweet from the Huffington Post about the myth of marriage for a lifetime. Honestly, I didn’t even open the link because I am so tired of hearing how impossible it is to stay married to someone. […]

What to Do When an Ex-Spouse is a Bad Influence Over Your Child?

posted by Linda Mintle

I sat down with Joyce Meyer and discussed the problem of an ex-spouse continuing to exert a negative influence over a child or children. What can you do as the spouse who is trying to be a better example? In […]

Does My Anger Towards My Ex Hurt My Child?

posted by Linda Mintle

Reader Question:   My husband and I are divorced. We have a four-year-old daughter together and I worry about how well my daughter is adjusting. My ex-husband is very involved as a dad and this is helping, but I still […]

4 Tips on Marriage From Divorced Couples

posted by Linda Mintle

When researcher Terri Orbuch at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research interviewed couples who divorced, she learned what couples would have changed in their failed relationships. Here are 4 tips from those couples.      

What We Learn When Celebrity Couples Divorce

posted by Linda Mintle

Today is a video blog. Russell Brand and Katie Perry are officially no longer a couple. What can we learn when celebrity couples break up? 3 quick tips to remember in order to keep your marriage intact.  

Telling Kids You Are Divorcing

posted by Linda Mintle

Reader Question: My husband and I are separating and will most likely divorce. We have two young children. I am wondering how to tell them about the divorce. I am really dreading this because I know how upsetting it will […]

Cruise-Holmes Split: Did Religion Play a Part?

posted by Linda Mintle

Big news last week in Hollywood. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes split after 5 years of marriage. Was I surprised? No, but it is still sad when a family breaks up and a child is caught in the middle. For […]

Married? Are You in the Majority?

posted by Linda Mintle

With a growing desire to say, Yes to the dress, Karla often dreams of her wedding day. In her head, it is all planned out–her colors, the music, location, the rings, the cake and how the ceremony will be conducted. […]

Will This Couple Divorce?

posted by Linda Mintle

John and Ann are asked about the history of their relationship. They have nothing positive to say. In fact, all they can remember are the problems. For years, they have been unable to deal with conflict in a way that […]

When Your Think Your Marriage is Over, Think Again!

posted by Linda Mintle

Sarah and John were at a family dinner. During a trip to the restroom, John pulled Sarah aside and said, “I’m done. No more of this. I want out of this marriage. ” Sarah, stunned and speechless, wondered what prompted […]

Later Life Divorce: Why Boomers Are Calling It Quits

posted by Linda Mintle

A recent article in the Wall Street Journal entitled, The Gray Divorce” brought attention to a growing trend–divorce after 50. The article reported that for people 50 or older, the divorce rate has doubled in he past two decades. At […]

The Key To Staying Married

posted by Linda Mintle

“I like you and want to stay married.” Great. But that probably isn’t going to cut it unless the commitment is much deeper. Think about it. Most people stay committed when the relationship goes well, but what about when stress […]

February: The Month of Love or Divorce?

posted by Linda Mintle

  I was surprised to read that divorce attorneys report that January and February (just before Valentine’s Day) are the busiest time of year for divorce. Think about it. Couples try to make it work over the holidays and hope […]

Demi Moore Hospitalized: Could It Be A MidLife Eating Disorder?

posted by Linda Mintle

When Demi Moore was hospitalized yesterday, my first therapeutic instinct was to wonder about an eating disorder. I have treated people with eating disorders for over 25 years. While Moore has not confirmed or denied an eating disorder, a growing […]

Heidi Klum and Seal Separating: Why the Timing Isn’t Surprising

posted by Linda Mintle

Another celebrity couple decides to split. If you haven’t heard, Heidi Klum and Seal announced their decision to separate for “irreconcilable differences” after seven years of marriage involving four young children. Heidi Klum told reporters that she and Seal had […]

Look Out People: A Divorce May Just Kill You!

posted by Linda Mintle

Who likes to think about death, especially the things that can bring early death–getting hit by a car, smoking, excessive drinking, obesity, etc. But did you ever think that getting divorce could bring early death? Researchers at the University of […]

10 Possible Reasons For Kim Kardashian’s Divorce

posted by Linda Mintle

Yesterday I was interviewed multiple times on the radio, once in LA, to discuss the Kim Kardashian divorce. The interviewers felt Kim owed her fans a better explanation for the ending of her marriage. Here are  10 reasons I could […]

How Couples Grow Apart

posted by Linda Mintle

This week, I am speaking at the American Association of Christian Counselors World Conference in Nashville, TN. My first session is entitled, Advances in Marital Therapy: What Works? We know what works, but the frustration is that too many couple […]

Staying Together or Growing Apart?

posted by Linda Mintle

Today is my 37th wedding anniversary and yes, I was a child bride! Seriously, I am so thankful for the person I married. The strength of our relationship comes from our unity in God. Like any marriage, we have had […]

Previous Posts

Are You Practicing The Best Parenting Style?
Parenting is on John's mind now that his second child has arrived. John was raised by a father who was harsh and demanding. John often felt as if he could not live up to his father's expectations. Now a father himself, John is aware that his ...

posted 7:00:20am Jun. 29, 2015 | read full post »

Are You Genetically Predisposed to Worry?
Susan feels she can’t stop worrying no matter how hard she tries. She’s beginning to wonder if she is a born worry. She is asking, "Can worry be genetic?" In 2007, Yale researchers found a gene variation associated with chronic worrying ...

posted 7:00:57am Jun. 26, 2015 | read full post »

Does God Hide in Times of Trouble?
When Christians are being beheaded in the middle east, when a man shoots people praying in a church, when young girls are taken and forced into sex slavery, when you are falsely accused or ridiculed for your beliefs, it often feels like God is ...

posted 7:00:35am Jun. 24, 2015 | read full post »

Should You Keep Secrets From Your Partner?
I was in the grocery store and the tabloids were headlining the secret love child of yet another celebrity couple. Secrets are a problem. They don’t usually end well. I am often asked if it is a good idea to reveal secrets to a partner or a ...

posted 7:00:25am Jun. 22, 2015 | read full post »

The Gift Your Father Gave You
Happy Father's Day! I know not everyone has a great relationship with his or her father. However, this Father’s Day, I encourage to think about your father and find one thing he gave you as a gift. Some of you will think of many things, others ...

posted 7:00:16am Jun. 19, 2015 | read full post »

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