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Doing Life Together

angry1Anger is triggered by expectations, perceptions, and things people say and do. These hot buttons are triggers that cause the feeling to rise.

Knowing your hot buttons can prepare you for future conflicts. To deal with hot buttons, think about how you respond.

Is your response effective in keeping you calm and dealing with the problem? If not, you may have to change your reaction.

To do this, focus on what you do or say that might keep the anger going or calm it down. Notice what the other person is doing so you can identify what sets you off. Then, think about what you want to accomplish for the moment. For example, do you want to be less angry, calmer, or more able to respond to negativity without blowing up?

Sometimes you can avoid anger hot buttons completely. If certain situations or people cue anger, and those people are not important in your life, you can avoid them or the situation. For example, you can avoid drinking if that arouses anger. You can avoid playing in a basketball league if losing sets you off. You can avoid a neighbor who insults you. You can avoid that obnoxious co-worker.

In these cases, avoidance is like avoiding temptation—don’t put yourself with people or situations that will trigger your anger if it isn’t necessary. This strategy doesn’t get at the root of the anger problem, but it will help you maintain your cool.

 

 

 

 

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