Advertisement

Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Withholding Friendship as a Weapon

upset girl

I’ll never forget the day my five-year-old came home and said, “No one will play with ‘Sandy’ because she doesn’t do what they say!” I was upset and thankfully, my daughter thought it was mean. But the other girls excluded little Sandy and rejected her from their friendship circle.

Would you be surprised to learn that children as young as kindergarteners form cliques and intentionally reject children from playing? And that three-year-olds can start bullying!

Advertisement

Sad, but true. And this gender segregation happens more among girls than boys because of their verbal skills and earlier social development. Yes, mean girls can use friendship exclusion as a weapon of power.

Known as relationship aggression, it usually refers to threatening to remove a friendship if the child doesn’t do what you want. It is a form of manipulation and increases with age, with middle school a prime time target.

There is evidence to suggest that children learn this behavior by seeing it in others–parents, siblings, media, etc. So be careful the type of exposure your kids have if you prefer them to develop the counter skill of empathy.

When my five-year-old talked about her classmate’s exclusion, we made sure we invited her to play. And my daughter made a bold move and told her classmates that if they wanted to play with her, Sandy would be included. At an early age, she understood this type of aggression and wanted it stopped.

Every parent and teacher should be on the look out for this type of relationship aggression and nip it in the bud so bullying is addressed early on in children’s lives.

 

Previous Posts

Can You Think Away Chronic Pain?
Susan's leg injury was healed more than two months ago, so why is she still having chronic pain? Her family thinks it is all in her head, but is it? Her doctor can't find a reason for the pain and questioned her about stress in her life. Susan ...

posted 7:00:43am Jul. 27, 2015 | read full post »

Abortive Body Parts Only About Politics?
Like most of you, I was horrified to see the video of the Planned Parenthood women having wine and food  while discussing abortive body parts for sale. The lack of a moral compass should outrage all of us, but yesterday, as I  listened to ...

posted 7:51:16am Jul. 23, 2015 | read full post »

What Ben Carson's Single Mom Did Right
Dr. Ben Carson, renowned pediatric neurosurgeon and now presidential candidate, was raised in poverty to a single mom who lived in a tough neighborhood. Ben's mom worked two to three jobs in order to put food on the table. She didn't want to ...

posted 7:00:20am Jul. 22, 2015 | read full post »

5 Practices of Healthy Leaders
Are you a leader? You don't have to be a CEO or President of an organization. You can be a leader in your family, school, church or in the community. One definition of a leader is someone who has followers. We see and hear a lot about ...

posted 7:00:29am Jul. 20, 2015 | read full post »

Is Someone Too Controlling? 10 Questions to Ask
Rachel: "He's so controlling! I can't even go out with friends or he gets mad. Should I be concerned about this or does this mean that he really loves me?" Barb: "You should be concerned! Someone who gets upset when you go out with friends is ...

posted 7:00:47am Jul. 17, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.