Doing Life Together

sad childSarah sat up in bed and began to cry. Another nightmare woke her from a deep sleep.

Between the ages of three and six, nightmares occur for two developmental reasons: 1) Fears begin to develop 2) A child’s imagination is very active. Being overly tired, getting irregular sleep, dealing with stress and anxiety all increase the possibility of nightmares. In rare cases, nightmares can be caused by genetic factors so always check with your pediatrician before assuming cause.

A study published in the journal Sleep found three common traits in children with nightmares. These traits were noticed as early as five months of age. According to the study, children who tended to have nightmares had difficult temperaments (based on ratings by mothers), were restless during the day and were anxious and difficult to calm down.

Nightmares are often a way for children to cope with unpleasant events or change in their lives like divorce, a death, beginning school, moving, etc. So if you have a child experiencing nightmares, think about what is going on during a typical day.

Here are a few other tips to help a child with nightmares:

1)    Add a nightlight to the bedroom.

2)    Keep the bedroom door open.

3)    Briefly check under the bed and in the closet for “monsters.”

4)    Offer lots of physical reassurance when a child wakes up scared.

5)    Give the child a special blanket or toy to keep him or her company.

6)    Make sure the child is following a regular sleep routine. Keep the routine upbeat and soothing.

7)    Pray with your child before he or she goes to bed and ask God to give him or her sweet dreams. Remind your child that angels watch over him or her.

8)    Explain that a dream is just a story in the child’s head and that the child can change the ending if he or she wants to do so. Sometimes just talking about a new ending to the scary dream can help.

9)    Don’t allow the child to come to your bed for the night. This is a difficult habit to break if you start it. Simply reassure the child, rub his or her back, pray and stay until he or she calms down.

10)  Identify reasons for him or her to feel anxious or out of control.  Make sure the culprit isn’t watching scary media. It took me years to get over the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz!


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