Advertisement

Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

Does a Little Porn Help a Relationship?

IPAD userI was reading a new book on relationships by one of the leading people in the field and was stunned. In the book, he suggested that “a little” pornography could help a marriage.

Here is why he is wrong. After treating far too many people who thought a little porn would bring back passion in their relationships, they find themselves constantly needing more. And the way they look at their partners’ changes in a negative way. Why? Because the brain is getting rewired!

Advertisement

People who begin with a little porn develop a tolerance and want more. Just like a drug addiction, more. is needed to achieve pleasure.  This can lead to potency problems and sexual tastes that could be unwelcomed by your partner.

An addiction is a loss of control, a compulsion to do something no matter the negative consequences. It also involves developing a tolerance and needing more to get the same level of stimulation or pleasure. Without it, withdrawal occurs. All of this is true with pornography. Moderation is impossible. Avoidance is the strategy.

But here is what you might not be thinking about. Addiction involves neuroplastic changes in the brain. The promise of healthy pleasure  is a myth. Pornography has changed the brain to want more. It is exciting, not satisfying and hyperactivates the appetite system in the brain. When you view porn, new maps are created. The brain says I want to keep that map and stay activated.

Advertisement

Viewing porn is like getting training sessions for more. Brain maps are being created. Neurons that fire together, wire together. They are wiring images into the pleasure centers of the brain.

Then, even when you are not looking at porn, you have those images reinforced in the brain. When sexuallly aroused, dopamine fires and firms up those connections. Pleasure is felt. The brain then wants new, more exciting images to create more maps.  You aren’t satisfied with what you have. And this is where it gets problematic for couples. The porn person has trouble getting stimulated in healthy sex.

So does a little porn help a marriage? Absolutely NOT!

Previous Posts

Can You Think Away Chronic Pain?
Susan's leg injury was healed more than two months ago, so why is she still having chronic pain? Her family thinks it is all in her head, but is it? Her doctor can't find a reason for the pain and questioned her about stress in her life. Susan ...

posted 7:00:43am Jul. 27, 2015 | read full post »

Abortive Body Parts Only About Politics?
Like most of you, I was horrified to see the video of the Planned Parenthood women having wine and food  while discussing abortive body parts for sale. The lack of a moral compass should outrage all of us, but yesterday, as I  listened to ...

posted 7:51:16am Jul. 23, 2015 | read full post »

What Ben Carson's Single Mom Did Right
Dr. Ben Carson, renowned pediatric neurosurgeon and now presidential candidate, was raised in poverty to a single mom who lived in a tough neighborhood. Ben's mom worked two to three jobs in order to put food on the table. She didn't want to ...

posted 7:00:20am Jul. 22, 2015 | read full post »

5 Practices of Healthy Leaders
Are you a leader? You don't have to be a CEO or President of an organization. You can be a leader in your family, school, church or in the community. One definition of a leader is someone who has followers. We see and hear a lot about ...

posted 7:00:29am Jul. 20, 2015 | read full post »

Is Someone Too Controlling? 10 Questions to Ask
Rachel: "He's so controlling! I can't even go out with friends or he gets mad. Should I be concerned about this or does this mean that he really loves me?" Barb: "You should be concerned! Someone who gets upset when you go out with friends is ...

posted 7:00:47am Jul. 17, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.