Advertisement

Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

10 Ways to Rebuild Relationship Trust

I Married You 7607FIRS scandals, reports of infidelity, misuse of funds, friendship betrayals….they all involve a loss of trust.

Trust is foundational to any relationship. It is about having confidence in someone or something, relying on someone and believing what he or she says is true. Trust involves honesty, integrity and justice.

It takes a long time to build  and a moment to break it.

Advertisement

Relationships flourish when there is trust. Without trust, relationships are in trouble.

So how does one build trust in relationships, especially if that trust has been broken? Here are 10 ways to build trust:

1) The person who betrayed you or broke trust must admit to the action. Take responsibility without downplaying actions.

2) Be remorseful. If you broke someone’s trust, remorse needs to be evidenced. Without remorse, doubt remains.

3) Once trust is broken, the person you betrayed should be free to ask questions in order to better understand what happened. The betrayer cannot complain about having to answer questions that might be uncomfortable.

4) Forgive the person who broke the trust. This doesn’t mean you condone the action of the person, minimize the impact, or act like it never happened. Forgiveness means you acknowledge the breach and choose not to allow it to fester in unforgiveness and bitterness.

Advertisement

5) Give assurance when and where needed. Once trust is breached, lots of reassurance is needed in order to help the person see your efforts to make changes.

6) Be empathetic to the pain caused by the trust violation. Often, people want to admit to their mistake and then move on without further consequences. But pain is usually involved and takes time to work through. The violator needs to be empathetic to the time it takes a person to heal and be ready to try again.

7) Be patient. You can’t rush the rebuild of trust.  It takes time to see if the person is trustworthy again.

8) Don’t use a trust violation as a weapon. What is done, is done. Focus on moving forward. You will remember the breach, but the pain will eventually go away. So don’t keep bringing it up the past and using it to make a point or fight.

Advertisement

9) No secrets. Relationships built on secrecy do not do well. Honesty is needed to rebuild trust, even when that honesty is painful.

10) Move towards reconciliation. Forgiveness takes one person. Reconciliation takes two.

 

If you are having trouble rebuilding trust, you may want to see a counselor to help move all parties through the process.

 

 

Previous Posts

Are You Practicing The Best Parenting Style?
Parenting is on John's mind now that his second child has arrived. John was raised by a father who was harsh and demanding. John often felt as if he could not live up to his father's expectations. Now a father himself, John is aware that his ...

posted 7:00:20am Jun. 29, 2015 | read full post »

Are You Genetically Predisposed to Worry?
Susan feels she can’t stop worrying no matter how hard she tries. She’s beginning to wonder if she is a born worry. She is asking, "Can worry be genetic?" In 2007, Yale researchers found a gene variation associated with chronic worrying ...

posted 7:00:57am Jun. 26, 2015 | read full post »

Does God Hide in Times of Trouble?
When Christians are being beheaded in the middle east, when a man shoots people praying in a church, when young girls are taken and forced into sex slavery, when you are falsely accused or ridiculed for your beliefs, it often feels like God is ...

posted 7:00:35am Jun. 24, 2015 | read full post »

Should You Keep Secrets From Your Partner?
I was in the grocery store and the tabloids were headlining the secret love child of yet another celebrity couple. Secrets are a problem. They don’t usually end well. I am often asked if it is a good idea to reveal secrets to a partner or a ...

posted 7:00:25am Jun. 22, 2015 | read full post »

The Gift Your Father Gave You
Happy Father's Day! I know not everyone has a great relationship with his or her father. However, this Father’s Day, I encourage to think about your father and find one thing he gave you as a gift. Some of you will think of many things, others ...

posted 7:00:16am Jun. 19, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.