Advertisement

Doing Life Together

Doing Life Together

10 Ways to Rebuild Relationship Trust

I Married You 7607FIRS scandals, reports of infidelity, misuse of funds, friendship betrayals….they all involve a loss of trust.

Trust is foundational to any relationship. It is about having confidence in someone or something, relying on someone and believing what he or she says is true. Trust involves honesty, integrity and justice.

It takes a long time to build  and a moment to break it.

Advertisement

Relationships flourish when there is trust. Without trust, relationships are in trouble.

So how does one build trust in relationships, especially if that trust has been broken? Here are 10 ways to build trust:

1) The person who betrayed you or broke trust must admit to the action. Take responsibility without downplaying actions.

2) Be remorseful. If you broke someone’s trust, remorse needs to be evidenced. Without remorse, doubt remains.

3) Once trust is broken, the person you betrayed should be free to ask questions in order to better understand what happened. The betrayer cannot complain about having to answer questions that might be uncomfortable.

4) Forgive the person who broke the trust. This doesn’t mean you condone the action of the person, minimize the impact, or act like it never happened. Forgiveness means you acknowledge the breach and choose not to allow it to fester in unforgiveness and bitterness.

Advertisement

5) Give assurance when and where needed. Once trust is breached, lots of reassurance is needed in order to help the person see your efforts to make changes.

6) Be empathetic to the pain caused by the trust violation. Often, people want to admit to their mistake and then move on without further consequences. But pain is usually involved and takes time to work through. The violator needs to be empathetic to the time it takes a person to heal and be ready to try again.

7) Be patient. You can’t rush the rebuild of trust.  It takes time to see if the person is trustworthy again.

8) Don’t use a trust violation as a weapon. What is done, is done. Focus on moving forward. You will remember the breach, but the pain will eventually go away. So don’t keep bringing it up the past and using it to make a point or fight.

Advertisement

9) No secrets. Relationships built on secrecy do not do well. Honesty is needed to rebuild trust, even when that honesty is painful.

10) Move towards reconciliation. Forgiveness takes one person. Reconciliation takes two.

 

If you are having trouble rebuilding trust, you may want to see a counselor to help move all parties through the process.

 

 

Previous Posts

The Warning Signs of Family Stress
The Jones family has been under a great deal of stress lately. Dad's corporation is downsizing and jobs may be eliminated. Mr. Jones could be one of those jobs. Mrs. Jones' mother passed away suddenly, leaving a deep vacuum of support and help. ...

posted 7:00:19am Feb. 08, 2016 | read full post »

A Super Bowl Outcome You May Not Like
Super Bowl week! Yes, we are obsessed with the game. And part of that obsession includes our Super Bowl menu. But what if I told you that your menu and eating habits are influenced by the game. Super Bowl  has an eating outcome you may not ...

posted 7:00:32am Feb. 05, 2016 | read full post »

Conflict? Who Should Make the First Move?
Hannah hadn't spoken to her mother for a month and the tension between them could be cut with a knife. It was Saturday morning and Hannah was contemplating picking up the phone and making a call. She wanted to resolve the problem. But here ...

posted 7:00:31am Feb. 03, 2016 | read full post »

Fighting with a Narcissist
Rich and Sharon have constant fights, and the fights take on a common pattern. Sharon is dating a narcissist. The key traits of a narcissist are to be self-centered, need to be admired, be right, not admit fault and feel superior. All of ...

posted 7:00:58am Feb. 02, 2016 | read full post »

Dad's Anxiety Could Affect His Unborn Child!
Blog Question: My husband is very anxious about the birth of our second child. He is feeling the economic pressure of our expanding family and worries about everything. He is making me anxious because of his state of distress. What can I tell ...

posted 7:00:09am Jan. 29, 2016 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.