Beliefnet
Chattering Mind

Anger continued to be a theme at our house last night. At first, it seemed unrelated to Zidane‘s World Cup lunge, but upon reflection, there had to be a connection.

The Chattering boys argued near bedtime and I delivered yet another sermonette on how they shouldn’t bicker and fight as much as they do. Then as I was tucking the younger Chat into bed, he started to cry and said that his feelings get hurt when other family members say he has an “anger management” problem.

“Well, you’re the youngest,” I offered. “That’s really hard. People are either underestimating what you can do, or pressuring you to be older. All that is frustrating.”

He sniffed and wiped tears away from his cheeks in a way I found unbearably touching.

“I’m so proud of you honey. You are growing up to be a fine person, an incredible person. I can’t believe it sometimes.”

“I-I do get angry at home…” he said.

“Anger is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not right to hit your brother, but anger is useful, it’s an energy that you have to harnass. Angry people change the world.”

This is a hard concept for a child to follow. I buried all anger for years. I still swallow it down and struggle with the channeling of it. I hope I can help both my children with this issue. It’s extremely painful, isn’t it? Thich Nhat Hanh and Robert A. F. Thurman have written excellent books on the subject. And here’s a web page for kids that explains anger’s usefulness.

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