Beyond Blue

I published a post recently on about one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes … the one where George Costanza explains to Jerry what will happen if his worlds collide. Elaine has invited Susan, George’s girlfriend, to a show. It was Jerry’s idea. And George can’t believe how stupid Jerry was to suggest that, because if Susan becomes part of the inner circle, his worlds would definitely collide and, well, blow up.

I’ve excerpted some it below. You can find it here.

George (to Jerry): Well, that was a really stupid thing. You know what’s going to happen now?
Jerry: Worlds collide.
George: Yeah.
Jerry: Because this world is your sanctuary and if that world comes into contact with this world…
George: Yes. It blows up! So if you know that, why did you tell Elaine that?
Jerry: I didn’t know. Kramer just told me about the worlds.
George: You couldn’t figure out the worlds theory for yourself? It’s just common sense. Everyone knows you have to keep your worlds apart!
Jerry: Yeah, I guess I slipped up.
Kramer enters.
George (pointing to Kramer): He knows the worlds theory.
Kramer: What – is it blowing up?

I am definitely no George Costanza. I have not been careful about separating my worlds. In fact, they are Irish dancing with each other. And the result? A nuclear explosion happening in my life.

There is my mom world. I show up to the kids’ school as a woman who is perfectly stable, capable of hosting play dates, on topic of school projects and activities.

There is my swimming world, where I am an athlete who, in general, can’t count, is always getting intervals wrong, and says “this sucks” a lot.

There is my professional world, where I am, in theory anyway, a prolific blogger who can crank out post after post on all topics touching insanity and show up on a webinar here and there to instruct folks on what they can and cannot write in email if they want to avoid an emotional affair.

There are a few really good friends with whom I can let down my guard and vocalize just how messed up my thoughts are. I like this world. Very much.

And there is my therapy/support-group world where I can say whatever the hell I want because much worse has been said. I like this world a lot too.

My problem is that, as a mental-health blogger and writer, your worlds can’t help but collide most of the time. Enter Facebook and you have full-fledged Armageddon. So, do I even try to have boundaries? Or do I just say, “to hell with that,” and allow everyone a glimpse into my neurotic little brain?

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