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Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue

February 2011 Archives

Be Someone Nicer: The Surprising Power of Kindness

posted by Beyond Blue

In her book “The Second Neurotic’s Notebook” (what a great title!) American journalist Mignon McLaughlin wrote: “Don’t be yourself, be someone a little nicer.” I love that. And also the Dalai Lama’s advice, “If you want others to be happy, […]

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Mindful Monday: Letting Go of the False Self

posted by Beyond Blue

Swami Abhishiktananda, an Indian pioneer in the dialog between Christianity and eastern religions wrote a poignant meditation about the process of letting go of the false ego in order to embrace the true self: The Spirit blows where he will […]

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What Does Mania and Hypomania Look Like?

posted by Beyond Blue

On Beyond Blue, I focus predominantly on the problem of depression, because 99 percent of the time that’s what I am struggling with, and I figure you, too. However, I think it’s very important to discuss mania and hypomania because […]

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My Debut on Blisstree.com! Why I Don’t Buy “The Healing Code”

posted by Beyond Blue

My column on mental health, therapy, and all things in that category debuted this week on Blisstree.com, a very cool, hip website that covers everything from reality television to bad diets. I will be writing weekly for them, and I’m […]

Therapy Thursday: You Can’t Unlearn It

posted by Beyond Blue

I have decided to dedicate a post on Thursday to therapy, and offer you the many tips I have learned on the couch. They will be a good reminder for me, as well, of something small I can concentrate on. […]

CNN’s Jessica Ravitz on Why She’s Not Married

posted by Beyond Blue

I adore this article by Jessica Ravitz because it is sooooo brave and raw and gutsy and all the things I look for when I read a piece. She’s funny, snarky, but in an elegant, eloquent way. And she stands […]

10 Forms of Twisted Thinking

posted by Beyond Blue

Both David Burns (bestselling author of “Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy” and Abraham Low (founder of Recovery, Inc.) teach techniques to analyze negative thoughts (or identify distorted thinking) so to be able to disarm and defeat them.Since Low’s language […]

Life at Work: Should You Tell Your Boss About a Mental Illness?

posted by Beyond Blue

Many people struggle with the question of whether or not to tell their bosses about their mood disorders at work. Washington Post columnist Amy Joyce wrote an excellent article on this a few years ago that you can access here. […]

But for the Grace of God: How Abraham Lincoln Used Faith to Overcome Depression

posted by Beyond Blue

Abraham Lincoln is a powerful mental health hero for me. Whenever I doubt that I can do anything meaningful in this life with a defective brain (and entire nervous system, actually, as well as the hormonal one), I simply pull […]

9 Ways to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

posted by Beyond Blue

According to Peggy Vaugn, the author of “The Monogamy Myth” and the website “Dear Peggy.com,” 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in their marriage. In other words, the person who […]

The 10 Red Flags of an Emotional Affair

posted by Beyond Blue

I found this piece by Jeff Herring last year. Now Beliefnet has made it into a nice gallery for the Emotional Affairs Resource Page. To get to The 10 Red Flags of an Emotional Affair, click here. It begins …. […]

Therapy Thursday: Don’t Go to a Hardware Store for Tomatoes

posted by Beyond Blue

I have decided to dedicate a post on Thursday to therapy, and offer you the many tips I have learned on the couch. They will be a good reminder for me, as well, of something small I can concentrate on. […]

14 Ways to Recover from an Emotional Affair

posted by Beyond Blue

An anonymous reader writes: Over the last several months, I began an online relationship with a man. I was taken aback by our ability to connect. It was uncanny to me how much we understood each other. The sense of […]

Relationships Week: 12 Ways to Mend a Broken Heart

posted by Beyond Blue

Bess Myerson once wrote that “to fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful,” especially if you are the one who wanted the relationship to last. But to stop loving isn’t an option. […]

Mindful Monday: Consider the Flowers of the Field

posted by Beyond Blue

I’m big into leading with faith these days. I guess it’s because I have no other option. When you have two adults in a household whose jobs are majorly affected by the economy, you either panic or pray. I’ve panicked […]

Making Lemonade from Lemons on Valentine’s Day: A Romantic Tale

posted by Beyond Blue

In order to move beyond their dark days, most depressives master the lesson on how to make lemonade from lemons. For Valentine’s Day, here’s a romantic tale on just that: how a friend of mine turned an embarrassing situation into […]

It’s Relationships Week on Beyond Blue!

posted by Beyond Blue

Just like last year, I’ve decided to hold a “Relationships Week” on Beyond Blue because depression affects so many of our relationships and because my articles on relationships always get a good response. So, in preparation for Valentine’s Day on […]

On Separating Yourself from Your Illness

posted by Beyond Blue

On the combox of the post, “The Healing Property of Tears,” Beyond Blue reader Elizabeth wrote:   How would you respond to someone who sends you an e-mail that says something like …”maybe you shouldn’t focus so much on your […]

Therapy Thursday: Be Nearsighted

posted by Beyond Blue

I have decided to dedicate a post on Thursday to therapy, and offer you the many tips I have learned on the couch. They will be a good reminder for me, as well, of something small I can concentrate on. […]

6 Steps to Quiet the Mind

posted by Beyond Blue

the practice of mindful meditation

The Healing Properties of Tears: 7 Good Reasons to Cry Your Eyes Out

posted by Beyond Blue

New York Times reporter Benedict Carey referred to tears in a recent piece as “emotional perspiration.” Given that I sweat a lot and hate deodorant, I suppose it makes sense that I weep often. But I’m not going to apologize […]

Who Moved My Cheese? Keep Moving the Cheese!

posted by Beyond Blue

Human beings are creatures of habit, which is why Spencer Johnson sold more than ten million copies of his book, “Who Moved My Cheese?” Business executives sit down to PowerPoint presentations based on it, and depressed patients watch the “Who […]

Be You Very Well

posted by Beyond Blue

St. Francis de Sales had four words of advice for pursuing spiritual excellence: “Be you very well.” I used to think if you survived junior high without too many scars, you could live comfortably in your own skin for the […]

Dr. Gordon Responds to My Review of “Unstuck”

posted by Beyond Blue

I try to make it a policy on Beyond Blue to publish the responses of authors when I write about their books. I very much appreciate Dr. Gordon taking the time to respond to me about his book “Unstuck: Your […]

Why Is Religion Important to Mental Health? An Interview with Jay Mahler and Rev. Laura Mancuso

posted by Beyond Blue

As a member of NAMI FaithNet, which “supports faith communities in mental illness outreach, education, and advocacy,” I receive their newsletters. A recent issue featured an interview by Gale Bataille and Bill Berkowitz with Jay Mahler, activist and founder of […]

Therapy Thursday: Keep Your Sponges Separate

posted by Beyond Blue

I have decided to dedicate a post on Thursday to therapy, and offer you the many tips I have learned on the couch. They will be a good reminder for me, as well, of something small I can concentrate on. […]

You Deplete Me: 10 Steps to End a Toxic Relationship

posted by Beyond Blue

“You complete me.” You know that line, right … from “Jerry McGuire”? It comes right before “You had me at hello” (another puker). The completing-the-other bit nauseates me a tad because we relationship-analyzers (some with the right initials after their […]

On Groundhog Day: 12 Winter Depression Busters

posted by Beyond Blue

I don’t really care if that bloody woodchuck emerges from its hole to see its shadow or not today. History tells this depressive that we still have a good 30 to 40 days to endure really crappy weather, during which […]

When Is a Lie an Act of Love?

posted by Beyond Blue

Experiments have found that ordinary people tell about two lies every ten minutes. I don’t see how that’s possible, as I’ve been alone the last hour writing this piece (oh dear, am I making it up as I go along?). […]

Previous Posts

Seven Ways to Get Over an Infatuation
“Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I” wrote US songwriter Lorenz Hart about the feeling of infatuation. It’s blissful and euphoric, as we all know. But it’s also addicting, messy and blinding. Without careful monitoring, its wild wind can rage through your life leaving you much like the

posted 12:46:43pm Feb. 19, 2014 | read full post »

When Faith Turns Neurotic
When does reciting scripture become a symptom of neurosis? Or praying the rosary an unhealthy compulsion? Not until I had the Book of Psalms practically memorized as a young girl did I learn that words and acts of faith can morph into desperate measures to control a mood disorder, that faithfulness

posted 10:37:13am Jan. 14, 2014 | read full post »

How to Handle Negative People
One of my mom’s best pieces of advice: “Hang with the winners.” This holds true in support groups (stick with the people who have the most sobriety), in college (find the peeps with good study habits), and in your workplace (stay away from the drama queen at the water cooler). Why? Because we

posted 10:32:10am Jan. 14, 2014 | read full post »

8 Coping Strategies for the Holidays
For people prone to depression and anxiety – i.e. human beings – the holidays invite countless possibility to get sucked into negative and catastrophic thinking. You take the basic stressed-out individual and you increase her to-do list by a third, stuff her full of refined sugar and processed f

posted 9:30:12am Nov. 21, 2013 | read full post »

Can I Say I’m a Son or Daughter of Christ and Suffer From Depression?
In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, we read: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” What if we aren’t glad, we aren’t capable of rejoicing, and even prayer is difficult? What if, instead, everything looks dark,

posted 10:56:04am Oct. 29, 2013 | read full post »

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