Yes. It’s that season where I compare everything to a pumpkin!
1. It comes in all shapes and sizes (and diagnoses).
2. With enough creativity, you can it put it to good use.
3. You have to carefully monitor kids around it.
4. It arrives in October, and stays through the holidays.
5. It can be heavy and cumbersome.
6. It can be ugly.
7. It never grows alone, and it has long roots.
8. You can carve different faces on it.
9. Birds and humans crap all over it.
10. It likes ghosts and dead people (the past, in general), and phobias of all kind.
11. Like an 11-year-old boy, you really want to smash it.
12. It can make you think of Thanksgiving, and everything you have to be grateful for.
13. You can’t just hide it or forget about it, because after a few months, it will rot, decay, and stink up your entire house.
14. It’s orange, meaning “ALERT: something isn’t right.”
15. A lot of people have one, but most don’t put theirs out on the porch (like I do) for everybody to see (and comment on).
16. After you dig out its guts and give it a light, it can be made into something beautiful (at least temporarily).
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