I am at a precipice at this particular moment in my life, knowing the decisions I make today will affect the rest of my life. It can be a very scary place to be, indeed. But all people want happiness in life, me included. So I am going to have to take a deep breath and make that jump. Not knowing whether the net will be spread out below, or I will crash land. My pdoctor says baby steps, because no one can do all at once. Yet sometimes I feel so desperate that time slips away so fast, I want it all done yesterday. But life is not mine to demand. It is a gift from God, to respect and live with my best self. I can only take control of my attitude about the way I go about living, not actual life itself. It is a hard to accept this fact sometimes, but a lesson I must learn. My biggest fear is to let this vulnerable part of myself show; without having the control of the approval or rejection. But I know in the end, it is the only way to enlightenment and love.

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