Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue

Group Beyond Blue: Where Are All the Guys?

Group BB rose.jpg

Okay, so statistically speaking, there are more women than
men who suffer from mood disorders. Having to do, maybe, with all the hormonal
shifts we go through during our lives. Yes, PMS and all of it.

But Group Beyond Blue member Luthitarian brought up a good
point on in a thread on Group Beyond Blue: where are all the guys in the
community part of Beyond Blue? I think on the blog comboxes, there are a fair
share of men expressing their opinions. But it does seem to be more women over
in the social networking site. Do women have more social needs then men? Do men
not need to chat as often?


What do you think? Weigh in here, or on Luthitarian’s thread
that you can get to by clicking here.

To read more Beyond Blue, go to, and to get to Group Beyond Blue, a support group at Beliefnet Community, click here.
  • John W.

    I don’t think that men are any less affected by depression than women. However, in their own “macho” way, they deny and deny and deny the symptoms, then wonder why they end up having a complete breakdown one day. And for support groups – forget it. Men generally haven’t been taught to deeply express their feelings.
    Men need the support, but don’t know how or where to start. Because they’re men, there’s a pride issue there, too. It took having almost a complete breakdown before I even admitted I had a problem. It took longer to effectively communicate with a therapist. As men, we’re taught to “just deal with it” on everything. So we bury everything until it comes up to “bite us”. ONLY THEN do we seek the help we’ve needed all along.
    Just my humble opinion.

  • Douglas Cootey

    In my experience (over on my own blog) I find that female commenters outweigh the males. I suspect it has to do with the differences between the sexes. Men generally don’t feel comfortable discussing their feelings, never mind see a need for it. Women OTOH seem more willing to take advantage of the mental health forums to commiserate or share their experiences with others. Generally speaking, of course. There are always exceptions to any generality.
    I wonder if we could tap into all those male commenters if we spoke of mental health in technological terms. 😉
    Big Pharma Announces Psychmed 2.0 Initiative
    Top Ten Upgrades For Your Wetware
    Avoid Depression Downtime. Keep Your System at Peak Performance with Our Tips.
    Who knows? It could work. ]:>
    Douglas Cootey
    The Splintered Mind – Overcoming AD/HD & Depression With Lots Of Humor And Attitude

  • Larry Parker

    Oh, my G-d, I’m AGREEING with Douglas :-)
    (And John W. too.)
    It’s bad enough that men have to overcome their macho, tough guy instincts to admit they have depression. But to TALK about their sad and angry feelings? In PUBLIC?
    Forget Beyond Blue, more like beyond the pale.
    Besides, Douglas is a well-known professional blogger, I’m a more in-the-trenches professional writer, and Bob/Luthitarian, who started the social networking thread, is a chaplain/counselor. OF COURSE we’re the exceptions to the rule.

  • Cindy

    Well, I can’t speak to how men feel, but just reading the comments from these men has reminded me how difficult it is for men to talk so openly. While I do suffer from depression, I firmly believe that my estranged husband & members of his family do as well. My 14 yr. old son was recently diagnosed with depression. For my “in-law’s”, I think they think that is just the way everyone feels so there isn’t anything wrong. Since I’ve gone through it now & am more stable, it’s obvious to me that this is true. Thank goodness that my son has a little of both of us. He wants to go see his therapist, but insists that I go in the sessions with him. Once there, it’s like pulling teeth to get him to talk about the things that are bothering him. Thanks to you, Therese, & these “few good men” for fighting the good fight. If nothing else, you are helping me see what my son is going through as a male dealing with depression. Thank you!

  • marilyn

    i agree men tend to show emotions less than woman

  • cory johnson

    I am a 44 year old male that has suffered from PTSD and Clinical depression all my life. The mental pain has manifested itself physically in the form of Fibromyalgia, Irritable Bowel syndrome and Chronic Fatigue.
    The joy of all this “stuff” culminated with me loosing my business, marriage, kids, home, car, money and any sense of selfworth or direction.
    I am so tired of the whole experience that I have decided to stop running from my fear and turn and fight. That is exactly what I am going to do. I have decided to start a website for men starting over with a major focus on mental health and the stigma associated with acknowledging the need for and getting help.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment bearlover

    This is a very difficult site to navigate – I’ve been looking for hours for a group under Therese’s blog on “Anybody home?” – it resonated when I found it, but I can’t find it again – Anyone got sny tips?

    And I don’t know how I will find this again!

  • http://male frank

    i’m a 38 year old male, and 2012 is going to be the year that will define my future. unlike cory, i’m ‘only’ just at the verge of losing my marriage and family, after having suffered from severe depression and alcohol abuse for the last 4 years.

    i am desperate. i am literally watching our world fall appart right before my eyes while i feel paralyzed and just don’t understand why i just can’t seem to pull it together. i don’t understand why i’d rather give up then fight it – when i know it hurts my family.

    i don’t understand why a stint at a mental health clinic in 2011 and being on the verge of a divorce aren’t enough of a wakeup call for me to change my life and fight my a** off.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment John Holter

    I am 57 y/o guy who has been recovering severe depression for 5 years now. It has been a long walk out of the fog. It is true, men desperately need affection and nurturing. Women are better at close, emotional relationships. It is hard to see, but a lot of men need a good cuddle. Men would rather talk sports and politics than feelings. It is impossible for a man to ask. I am feeling scared, please give me a hug. For all the suffering men, Do Not Quit! Find new doctors and therapists. Fire the idiots and keep looking for the angels. They are there. If you are lucky, you can find a good woman who will give you lots of hugs.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Donald

    I am male soon to be 58 years old.There was a time when I dreaded being alone and having another birthday and not having a woman to celebrate with. My family suffered with depression for many years and I was also affected.At 20 i was institutionalized and treated for schizophrenic paranoia.

    In 1994 my parents were both diagnosed with cancer, my girlfriend got married to someone else and I had knee surgery all within three weeks.I was totally overwhelmed.I was struck with depression in early 1995 and took Prozac and Remeron for over four years.
    On the morning of July 17, 1999 i woke up and decided boldly enough is enough I am not going to give in to drug dependency any longer.So, at 9:35 am eastern time I made a confession, “God you made the earth in six days,please fix the Serotonin level in my brain. I stepped out and spoke out in Faith and only by the Grace and mercy of God I have not taken any psychotropic drugs since then.
    Glory Be To God
    p.s. remember The battle is the Lord’s, The victory is yours and He Gets All the Glory

  • http://whatsaURL? Kevin Gorrasi

    I’m here. Bipolar, Borderline, Anexity, Disorders – throw in some ADHD and you have a tense, angry, self-harming, relationship challenged 38 year old male. You book was helpful in many ways, and Im looking for more htat take the real life approach to mental illness as opposed to a textbook feel. Well Mrs. Borchard here is a man – in need of some help.

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