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Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue

February 2008 Archives

Michael Leach: How Do You Move Beyond Blue?

posted by Beyond Blue

Because both Eric’s and my parents are divorced, we have had to find other role models in our lives to show us what a good marriage looks like. I have been lucky to know several happy couples in my life. […]

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Fr. Mike Meets Hot Chick In Bar (or something like that)

posted by Beyond Blue

Below is Mike and Vickie’s love story–the details about how they met (when, ahem, Mike was a priest). It’s a beautiful and refreshing tale, and my favorite chapter of our book on marriage. Please don’t judge him too harshly for […]

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Love Note #29

posted by Beyond Blue

A loving heart has a cataract and cannot see. -Louise Colet

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Dear God: Hope Doesn’t Disappoint

posted by Beyond Blue

Dear God, In today’s reading, Paul describes hope to the Romans (5:1-2, 5-8). He says: Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. […]

Group Beyond Blue: Self-Esteem Forum #3

posted by Beyond Blue

For his birthday on Tuesday, I handed Beyond Blue reader Larry Parker all rights to take over the Self Esteem Forum that we have done during the months of January and February. He did a super job with the last […]

Baby Boomer Laugh

posted by Beyond Blue

I sure can count on my readers to give me laughs. This one comes courtesy of Beyond Blue reader, Nancy. Enjoy! Click here to watch “Baby Boomers.”

Love Note #28

posted by Beyond Blue

Love is not merely blind but mentally afflicted. -Alice Thomas Ellis

12 Ways to Wait for Recovery

posted by Beyond Blue

Last August, when I was going through a rough spot, I identified that place (between health and recovery) as the “Waiting Place” (from Dr. Seuss, of course). And I listed what kinds of activities are encouraged in that area. Here […]

Love Note #27

posted by Beyond Blue

Falling in love is a condition, keeping in love is an art. -Mary Garden

An Assignment for You: If You Hadn’t Been Born

posted by Beyond Blue

If you haven’t already, you need to check out the discussion thread at Group Beyond Blue started by Beyond Blue member “Luthitarian” called “If I Hadn’t Been Born.” His introductory post is below: he lists four things that would be […]

Theories About the Origins of My Bipolar Disorder

posted by Beyond Blue

Speaking of the day you were born. Have you ever wondered what happened the moment you were conceived???? I’ve often contemplated the origins of my bipolar disorder. I’m thinking that on that fateful day when my dad’s swimmers caught up […]

Love Note #26

posted by Beyond Blue

There are three kinds of kissers: the fire extinguisher, the mummy, and the vacuum clear. -Helen Gurley Brown

And the Oscar Goes To…Us

posted by Beyond Blue

If anyone deserves an Oscar for exceptional acting, it’s a depressive. My guardian angel, Ann, told me the other day that she has spent more than half of her life pretending to be a happy person. “People have no idea […]

Judith Warner: Overselling Overmedication

posted by Beyond Blue

Thanks to Beyond Blue readers Barbara (formerly known as “Babs”) and NYJLM (who writes her own blog, “So Love Is Hard and Love Is Tough” for forwarding me the link to Judith Warner’s opinion piece, “Overselling Overmedication” about the volumes […]

Love Note #25

posted by Beyond Blue

Sex is part of nature. I go along with nature. -Marilyn Monroe

Love Note #24

posted by Beyond Blue

A good man doesn’t just happen. They have to be created by us women …. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho […]

Love Note #23

posted by Beyond Blue

When the only place a relationship wholly works is in bed, both people eventually get nervous … because they have to get out of bed. -Erica Jong

Therese Borchard: How Do You Move Beyond Blue?

posted by Beyond Blue

By taking the day off! (And following the advice of my doctor.) But I’ll be back Monday. In the meantime, be sure to check out all the stimulating and supportive discussions going on at Group Beyond Blue in Beliefnet’s Community. […]

Love Note #22

posted by Beyond Blue

The great secret of successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents, and none of the incidents as disasters. -Harold Nicolson

Message In a Bottle (YES) and Everywhere Else

posted by Beyond Blue

Related to last week’s post of the Newsweek happiness article is an essay by Charles Barber in the Feb. 10 issue of the Washington Post entitled “Message (Not) In a Bottle: Healing a Troubled Mind Takes More Than a Pill.” […]

Why Sadness Can Blow Your Budget

posted by Beyond Blue

Here’s an interesting story about shopping and depression. To read the Associated Press article, click here. It begins: BOSTON, Massachusetts (AP) — If you’re sad and shopping, watch your wallet: A new study shows people’s spending judgment goes out the […]

Love Note #21

posted by Beyond Blue

Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid. -Harlan Miller

Video: These Roses Are For You

posted by Beyond Blue

We all need our security items: an adult version of a pacifier. Mine is a comfy sweater that I’m always wearing in these videos (much like Mr. Roger’s green cardigan) and my medal of St. Therese. But when I’m in […]

Send Me a Sign!

posted by Beyond Blue

When Jesus told us that we should have a child-like faith, I took him at face value. Because I am a doubting Thomas so much of the time, I rely on signs and miracles to confirm God’s presence in my […]

Love Note #20

posted by Beyond Blue

When a man and a woman marry, they decide to become one. Of course, they must decide which one, and that is often where the storm starts. -Pierce Harris

Why the World Needs Diabetes, Cancer, and Dementia

posted by Beyond Blue

If I caught your attention with my title, good. That was the point. Because it was absurd (my title, I mean). Let’s celebrate AIDS! Breast Cancer! Dementia! Yeah! They are all ways of embracing our darker sides! Let’s create t-shirts […]

That’s Not BECAUSE OF Depression–That’s DESPITE Depression

posted by Beyond Blue

Last week’s post on the Newsweek happiness article provoked many interesting comments. I especially liked this insightful one from Beyond Blue reader Mia: Such a great discussion here. And I really love the distinctions being made: “medicine” vs “drugs” and […]

Group Beyond Blue: A Buddy System?

posted by Beyond Blue

Last week I started a discussion thread at Group Beyond Blue (in Beliefnet’s Community) about possibly starting a buddy system within Beyond Blue so we have even more support than is offered through discussion threads, blog comments, and participation in […]

Love Note #19

posted by Beyond Blue

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. -Rita Rudner

Love Note #18

posted by Beyond Blue

A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones. -Cher

Love Note #17

posted by Beyond Blue

A marriage without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs–jolted by every bump in the road. -Henry Ward Beecher

Love Note #16

posted by Beyond Blue

If love is the answer, can you rephrase the question? -Lily Tomlin

A Woman’s Fantasy #7

posted by Beyond Blue

Love Knows No Obstacle: “Away From Her” (Beliefnet’s Film Awards) and Mike’s Marriage

posted by Beyond Blue

Today I had planned an interview with my writing mentor, Mike Leach, whose marriage I hold in high esteem. Whenever I’m unsure of how to tackle something in my own marriage, I call up Mike and listen to his sage […]

The Best Valentine’s Day Ever: A Husband Who Gets His Wife

posted by Beyond Blue

Yesterday was a day in which I better understood why, according to a November 2003 article in “Psychology Today,” 90 percent of marriages involving a person who has bipolar disorder end in divorce; that, according to “The Sidney Morning Herald,” […]

Love Note #15

posted by Beyond Blue

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. -Robert Quillen

A Woman’s Fantasy #6

posted by Beyond Blue

Happy Valentine’s Day to You!

posted by Beyond Blue

Happy Valentine’s Day to all my special Beyond Blue readers! For today I have compiled my favorite love excerpts for you. Beyond Blue reader Margaret e-mailed me hers: * Like a diamond, real love I durable, shines brightly, and has […]

Marianne Williamson: Falling in Love

posted by Beyond Blue

Falling in love has been getting a bad rap recently. Supposedly more sophisticated types suggest that falling in love is an illusion, a state of non-reality because it is based on failure to see the love object as a “real” […]

George Burns: A Love Story

posted by Beyond Blue

For 40 years my act consisted of one joke. And then she died. Gracie was my partner in our act, my best friend, my wife and my lover, and the mother of our two children. We were a team, both […]

Anne Morrow Lindbergh: The Dance of Love

posted by Beyond Blue

A good relationship has a pattern like a dance and is built on some of the same rules. The partners do not need to hold on tightly, because they move confidently in the same pattern, intricate but gay and swift […]

Erma Bombeck: We Needed One Another

posted by Beyond Blue

Slowly, awkwardly, with tears streaming down our faces, we reluctantly reached out to one another. Neither of us knew how much strength we had to give, but we were willing to share it. We gave one another something that most […]

Love Note #14

posted by Beyond Blue

Sometimes idiosyncrasies which used to be irritating become endearing, part of the complexity of a partner who has become woven deep into our own selves. -Madeleine L’Engle

A Woman’s Fantasy #5

posted by Beyond Blue

Group Beyond Blue: Surviving Valentine’s Day

posted by Beyond Blue

A few weeks ago, before Cupid showed up everywhere with his arrow, Group Beyond Blue member Cheryl started a great discussion thread at Group Beyond Blue at Beliefnet’s Community on how to get through or even enjoy this day if […]

Video: Rules for Date Night

posted by Beyond Blue

This video is a rerun, but since it’s relationships week I think we should review it. If only for the laugh at the end, courtesy of John Travolta’s understudy. I also tell the story of last year’s Valentine’s Day dinner. […]

That’s One Hot Chick!

posted by Beyond Blue

Okay, guys. I finally found a cartoon for you courtesy of Beyond Blue reader Nancy! Enjoy. T

Love Note #13

posted by Beyond Blue

Sometimes I believe that some people are better at love than others, and sometimes I believe that everyone is faking it. -Nora Ephron

A Woman’s Fantasy #4

posted by Beyond Blue

It’s Relationships Week!

posted by Beyond Blue

Since this is Valentine’s week, I thought we’d have a relationships week here on Beyond Blue! All of the posts this week will be about various aspects of love relationships. And I have more cartoons for the ladies. Sorry, guys, […]

Love Note #12

posted by Beyond Blue

The more emotionally mature we are, the fewer demands we make upon others, and the more capable we are of being concerned about others and their needs. -Cecil Osborne

A Woman’s Fantasy #3

posted by Beyond Blue

Mother Teresa on Surrender

posted by Beyond Blue

Total surrender to God must come in small details as it comes in big details. It’s nothing but that single word, “Yes, I accept whatever you give, and I give whatever you take.” And this is just a simple way […]

Love Note #11

posted by Beyond Blue

Communication between two human beings can be confusing, especially if one is the husband and the other is the wife. -Mack and Brenda Timberlake

A Woman’s Fantasy #2

posted by Beyond Blue

A Woman’s Fantasy #1

posted by Beyond Blue

Love Note #10

posted by Beyond Blue

For love to last, you had to have illusions or have no illusions at all. But you had to stick to one or the other. It was the switching back and forth that endangered things. -Lorrie Moore

Self-Esteem Forum #2: Exhibit A

posted by Beyond Blue

A special thank you to Beyond Blue reader Larry Parker who moderated the February Self-Esteem Forum which was a huge success! For all newbies: the self-esteem forum is an opportunity to get matched up with one person whom you will […]

Self-Esteem Forum #2: Exhibit B

posted by Beyond Blue

Here’s another sample affirmation letter–from Beth (StillGrowing) to Sally (SissyJoe): Here’s another great example! From Beth (StillGrowing) to Sally (SissyJoe): Dear Sally, I have learned some about you from your profile, journal and posts I have read. You seem to […]

Love Note #9

posted by Beyond Blue

Sometimes love doesn’t come to us. We have to go out hunting. It’s like pigs looking for truffles. It’s called dating. -Patti LuPone

Newsweek’s Happiness Article: Heroic Melancholy???

posted by Beyond Blue

I’m sorry to report that I don’t have an interview today. But I DO have some fodder for a great discussion. Beliefnet’s Lilit Marcus directed me to Newsweek’s psychology story “Happiness: Enough Already” about the “anti-happiness” movement, or shall we […]

The Pursuit of Unhappiness

posted by Beyond Blue

Also intriguing was this essay by Jerry Adler, a Newsweek Web Exclusive that you can get to by clicking here. When my first child was born, more years ago than I would like at this moment to confess, my wife […]

My Happiness Level: Dieting and Shopping at Plus-Sizes Boutiques

posted by Beyond Blue

I don’t want to cry “poor me” or anything. Lord help me if I sound like I’m WHINING. BUT all this talk about happiness levels reminded me of a post I wrote awhile back on jealousy. Yep. I admit. I […]

Love Note #8

posted by Beyond Blue

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -Agatha Christie

The Divine Hours of Lent

posted by Beyond Blue

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting author Phyllis Tickle on a couple of occasions. She also wrote an essay for “I Like Being Married” (But Not To Each Other) co-edited by my friend, Mike Leach, and myself. So I was […]

Love Note #7

posted by Beyond Blue

Express appreciation for each other. Accepting each other makes a stable marriage. Appreciating each other, however, makes a sensational marriage. -Brett Selby

Video: My Inner Child Almost Went to Goodwill

posted by Beyond Blue

On Ash Wednesday, I hate to compare myself to the rough, chain-smoking, boozer Grace (Holly Hunter) in “Saving Grace.” But I’ve been thinking about that last episode ever since my former therapist handed me my junior-high journals totally unsolicited on […]

Pamper Your Inner Child Day!

posted by Beyond Blue

Am I off my rocker? Of all days to pamper your inner child, Ash Wednesday? I told you what this year’s resolution is: to be nice to myself. So here’s a perfect list to get me started. I wish it […]

Love Note #6

posted by Beyond Blue

Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward in the same direction. -Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Spaceships In My Sleep! Go to the Safe Place!

posted by Beyond Blue

I wrote this piece awhile back, but since it applies to financial anxiety, too, I thought I’d republish it. Last visit to my therapist, I told her about an unsettling dream I’ve been having once or twice a week. “I’m […]

“Battered Beyond Blue” on The Splintered Mind

posted by Beyond Blue

My blogging buddy, Douglas Cootey, over at The Splintered Mind wrote the following sympathetic and thoughtful blog post after he, too, was reamed out regarding a Heath Ledger commentary. Interestingly enough, Douglas gets it from the other side–from those who […]

On Defending Myself

posted by Beyond Blue

Douglas from The Splintered Mind, of course doesn’t know about the other responses (with a little attitude) that I send to special readers when I’m a bit peeved. I was feeling bad about the following two–like maybe I let anger […]

Love Note #5

posted by Beyond Blue

You have to distinguish between love and infatuation. That’s difficult because they both involve a throbbing organ. -Me

Dear God: On the Beatitudes and Hope

posted by Beyond Blue

Dear God, Today feels like pizza day in the canned-green-peas-smelling cafeteria of my soul. Because I get to read the Beatitudes! Hands down, my favorite passage in your book (the Bible). For this at-times pessimistic, skeptical person, your eight promises […]

Therese’s Beatitudes

posted by Beyond Blue

Blest are you with IBS Irritable Bowel Syndrome), for you shall be able to eat nachos again. Blest are you who breastfed, for you shall inherit free implants to repair all the damage. Blest are you who shop at plus-sizes […]

Mindful Monday: Kahlil Gibran On Joy and Sorrow

posted by Beyond Blue

This is one of my guardian angel’s favorite passages, from Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet.” I think it reads much like the Beatitudes. Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled […]

Dawn Andrea on the Beatitudes

posted by Beyond Blue

Thanks to Beyond Blue reader Dawn Andrea who wrote this e-mail to me over the weekend regarding the Beatitudes: We think happiness is getting what we want, when we generally don’t know what we want, or what is good for […]

Love Note #4

posted by Beyond Blue

Couples who frequently pray together are twice as likely as those who pray less often to describe their marriages as being highly romantic. And get this–married couples who pray together are 90 percent more likely to report higher satisfaction with […]

Love Note #3

posted by Beyond Blue

Sex is the most fun I ever had without laughing. -Woody Allen

Love Note #2

posted by Beyond Blue

Success in marriage depends on being able, when you get over being in love, to really love. …. You never know anyone until you marry them. -Eleanor Roosevelt

Reminder: Self-Esteem Forum #2 Tomorrow!

posted by Beyond Blue

Hi all. Just a reminder for all those who want to participate in the Self-Esteem Forum No. 2, log on to Group Beyond Blue at the Beliefnet Community. Click “Discussions” to the left, and find the thread named Self-Esteem Forum […]

Holly Lebowitz Rossi: How Do You Move Beyond Blue?

posted by Beyond Blue

In the spirit of Winter Health Week, I am interviewing Beliefnet’s Health Editor for this week’s “How Do You Move Beyond Blue?” segment. Who is that? Why, she is MY editor, Holly Lebowitz Rossi. Until I checked out her homepage […]

Holly Lebowitz Rossi: Goodbye Noodle

posted by Beyond Blue

This is a reprint of Holly’s original piece “Goodbye Noodle,” which you can get to by clicking here. It wasn’t her fault, of course, but Noodle, my family’s glorious white standard poodle, died at a very inconvenient time, just when […]

Holly Lebowitz Rossi: Lucky/Cursed

posted by Beyond Blue

Holly wrote the following piece during her husband Rob’s deployment in 2003, as well as a series of provocative pieces on NPR. To go to her original Beliefnet article, “Lucky/Cursed,” click here. To check out her NPR clips, click here. […]

Holly’s Two Groups on Beliefnet’s Community

posted by Beyond Blue

As I said in Holly’s interview, she runs two groups in Beliefnet’s social networking community. Here is a summary of each! Foods to Feed the Soul We all have our “comfort foods,” from mashed potatoes to roast chicken to steaming […]

Love Note #1

posted by Beyond Blue

Dear Abby: I am 44 and would like to meet a man my age with no bad habits. -Rose Dear Rose: So would I. -Abigail Van Buren

Previous Posts

Seven Ways to Get Over an Infatuation
“Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I” wrote US songwriter Lorenz Hart about the feeling of infatuation. It’s blissful and euphoric, as we all know. But it’s also addicting, messy and blinding. Without careful monitoring, its wild ...

posted 12:46:43pm Feb. 19, 2014 | read full post »

When Faith Turns Neurotic
When does reciting scripture become a symptom of neurosis? Or praying the rosary an unhealthy compulsion? Not until I had the Book of Psalms practically memorized as a young girl did I learn that words and acts of faith can morph into desperate ...

posted 10:37:13am Jan. 14, 2014 | read full post »

How to Handle Negative People
One of my mom’s best pieces of advice: “Hang with the winners.” This holds true in support groups (stick with the people who have the most sobriety), in college (find the peeps with good study habits), and in your workplace (stay away from ...

posted 10:32:10am Jan. 14, 2014 | read full post »

8 Coping Strategies for the Holidays
For people prone to depression and anxiety – i.e. human beings – the holidays invite countless possibility to get sucked into negative and catastrophic thinking. You take the basic stressed-out individual and you increase her to-do list by a ...

posted 9:30:12am Nov. 21, 2013 | read full post »

Can I Say I’m a Son or Daughter of Christ and Suffer From Depression?
In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, we read: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” What if we aren’t glad, we aren’t capable of rejoicing, and even prayer ...

posted 10:56:04am Oct. 29, 2013 | read full post »

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