In “Any Day with Hair Is a Good Hair Day,” I loved the story about “The House of a Thousand Mirrors” that Michelle tells at the beginning of her section on “Maintaining a Positive Attitude without Feeling Like a Human Smiley Face.” If you knew Michelle, you’d appreciate this tale even more, because Michelle isn’t one of those people who will force a smile and say everything is dandy. When I sent her one of those gratitude chain-letters you get from so-called friends, her response was: “Therese, the author of this is an idiot!”
Here’s her section on helpful self-talk that starts with the cool legend:

The House of a Thousand Mirrors
Long ago in a tiny village, there was a place called the House of a Thousand Mirrors. A little dog decided to visit the house. He was an unhappy dog, and his natural expression was a cross between a scowl and a sneer. As he entered the large house, he saw a thousand mean- and scary-looking dogs staring back at him. He immediately backed away and let out a low growl to protect himself, and, just as he did, all one thousand of the mean dogs growled back at him. Of course he ran out of the house immediately and thought, “What a terrible place that is. I’ll never go back there again.”
Not long afterward, another dog decided to visit the house. As he approached, he saw how beautiful and inviting it looked and couldn’t wait to go inside. He smiled and wagged his tail in anticipation of his adventure. As he pushed open the door, he was greeted by a thousand dogs with wagging tails and big smiles approaching him. Of course he was thrilled; he had a thousand new friends he was sure would become his buddies.

The moral of this folktale, of course, is that the world gives back to us what we give out to the world. That’s not to say we should pretend that everything’s great, when in fact we’re going through one of the hardest challenges of our lives. But it is true that the more positive you can be right now, the more smiling puppies you’ll have to cheer you on.

Often, in an effort to make you feel better, people will say some pretty annoying things; “infuriating” is probably a more accurate term. Having cancer is NOT a blessing in disguise. The fact that you don’t have a worse cancer is not terribly comforting. As wonderful as it is to learn how many people love and care about you, there are other ways to learn that that aren’t nearly as dangerous, devastating, or life-altering as having cancer.
But there are some things that are true and can bring comfort and a new perspective on this crummy situation. These are some that have been of help:
• A year from today this will behind me.
• A year from today, I’ll have hair!
• My lack of hair means that the chemo is working.
• I am not a statistic.
• I am the CEO of my health. I have control over many things, and this is the time for me to take hold of and maintain and use that power.
• There are more people who care deeply and want to support me now than perhaps at any future time in my life. I need to accept their generosity, and one day I will reciprocate. If they sometimes say dumb things, it’s because they’re frightened on my behalf. I need to give them the benefit of the doubt and accept with grace their stabs at comforting me.

• Cancer is not a death sentence. In fact, more people die of heart disease every year than of cancer. Yet we don’t view people with heart disease as living under the specter of death. Just because an idea is commonly believed, that doesn’t make it true.
• Just because your prognosis is better than mine doesn’t mean you’ll outlive me! Granted, this is a little hard-nosed, and it’s probably better if you don’t go around saying it to people. But the truth is nobody knows what will happen next week, or tomorrow, or in an hour.
• Cancer sucks. There are pins, T-shirts, and baseball caps that say “CANCER SUCKS.” It’s short and to the point, and in my opinion, sums up the situation to a tee. For some mysterious reason, it made me feel better just to say those two little words ever now and then.
• I’m going to make cancer history. (Get it? Make cancer history …)
• Just because I’m not cured yet, it doesn’t mean that I can’t experience healing. As you know, there isn’t a lot about cancer that could be called “beneficial.” But like many other hard experiences in life, even this terrible journey can be—in fact, often is—a catalyst for healing in areas that will serve us well both in the short run and the long run. Chances are you’ve already experienced an outpouring of care and kindness from others whom you wouldn’t have expected to be so giving. Cancer causes us to reexamine our priorities and often triggers new, healthier decisions about where we will spend our energy and emotions.