How to Handle Negative People

One of my mom’s best pieces of advice: “Hang with the winners.” This holds true in support groups (stick with the people who have the most sobriety), in college (find the peeps with good study habits), and in your workplace (stay away from the drama queen at the water cooler). Why? Because we actually become like the people we surround ourselves with. We take on their qualities, even as we see they are destructive. Negative people, in particular, prevent us from making positive changes in our life. Here, then, are some suggestions on dealing with a negative friend or relative in order to preserve your sanity.

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Steer the Conversation

In a media class I attended before a few public appearances, I learned the trick of ignoring the question and saying whatever I wanted to say anyway. So if the interviewer asked me, “Don’t you think depression is something that’s all in the head?” I would pretend I didn’t hear that and jabber on with my pre-rehearsed sound bites-- what you see in practically every political debate. Conversations with a negative person require the same skill. If someone begins down a dangerously negative path of conversation, you need to take the helm and ask them what the best part of their day was, or what achievement they are most proud of, or what their plans are for this evening. You may need to change the topic over and over again in order for the tone to stay positive.