A Simple Mantra for Healing Your Dark Night of the Soul

When you can't see the sun shining, learn these steps to find the light within.

Crying woman

Healing form my ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ was not easy but the three main steps I had to go through were: 1. Forgive 2. Love and 2. Heal.

This mantra “Forgive, Love, Heal” will help one heal from a dramatic ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ as mine or even what I call a  ‘Mini Dark Night’ – which can happen all the time to us in busy modern life: they could be simple things like being shown thefinger in an unloving exchange, or being cut off on the road in traffic!

In my own ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ I had to deal with prostrate cancer, surgical complications, life threatening sepsis, depression, chronic pain and dependency on pain medications. I had to sell my house, quit my job, all the while feeling how my marriage tethered and my health suffered.


I was very angry at myself, at God, the people, at the world – at the universe.

My healing happened in three steps.

The First Step is to Forgive

I had to forgive my self for any thing I had done, or contributed to the dark night. Forgive the circumstances. ‘Forgive’ God and accept God’s will. I had to surrender to the possibility that the Spirit alone has the infinite wisdom. There were the lessons I had to learn in this life time, so that I could evolve.

The forgiveness is defined as:

“the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense,difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.“


To help in forgiveness process I re-discovered the serenity prayer:

“God grant me the serenityto accept the things I cannot change;courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.”


It transformed me. I started to live in present in the ‘Now’ and not be stuck in what my circumstance once were in past or what I wanted them to be in future.

The Second Step is to Love

The second step was to start to love myself, my life, my circumstances.

The beauty is that when I started to love ‘myself’, my health improved in leaps. I started eating healthy, going to the gym regularly, meditating and praying regularly.

This self love should not mean a narcissistic way of prioritizing the self at the cost of others, for I truly believe one can only love others when one becomes ‘love’ itself. I started to have gratitude and love re-kindled for the Spirit, the people, the world, the environment; I even changed my car form Hummer to a Camry Hybrid.

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Rajiv Parti, MD (aka Dr. Raj)
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