Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

BY: SusanD

804susanblogI am watching my friend recover. She's struggling to turn around a life-long habit of people-pleasing. Her progress is painfully slow. Cara is the most wonderful, awe-inspiring, amazing woman you'd ever meet. Everyone says so: except her husband and her boss. They are her only critics. Surely you know someone like Cara. She does everything for everyone else, only to be used like a doormat on a rainy day.

He should have seen it coming. Her husband is stunned. After 30 years of marriage she got crabby. She was annoyed with being annoying to the one person in her life who should appreciate her most. Harris didn't have a clue and he rightly asks, "What happened to the woman I married, the one who never complained, and loved me as I am?" He's angry that the rules changed so late in the game.

I'm a contributor to a woman's advocacy group called . It's a very effective non-profit, started in 1973 by and . The organization has been very successful in making life better for working women. Laws have been changed and doors are now open, to give female workers equal pay and equal rights. It takes a lot of voices to be heard in the political arena. Do the same principles apply when we see injustice in someone's personal life?

Cara has a very large circle of people who love and admire her. It's a blessing and a challenge. We're all over her to be strong and change the course of her relationships. Her husband is cold and insulting. Her employer is a passive-aggressive control freak. Only Cara can make the changes she needs to get rid of the hurtful people in her life. So why don't we all just shut-up and let her work it out?

Because we love her. Because it hurts us to see her hurt. Because we're unwilling to change the way we make change. I'm beginning to see that speaking up isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. When the factory owner changed his policy of sexual discrimination, business sense prevailed— it was not an emotional decision. Cara has factors like love, and loyalty to contend with. When you're genetically wired to put others before yourself, it's difficult— but not impossible, to tell someone, "I'm not going to take it anymore!"

Cara needs to turn down the volume around her. She needs to listen to the still quiet voice within her. With God's help, she'll make the right choice.

 

I thought I knew this person,
but I have not loved wisely.
The relationship is ending;
it was toxic for us both.

Teach me to move on
without bitterness and regret.
Help me to forgive myself
while I seek a better other.

Let me feel Your spiritual arms
supporting me as I weep.
Let me gain from You the certainty:
This decision is good
and sits well in my soul.

-

Visit Prayables.com


Prayables Features
Religious Debate
Religious Debate
Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the
Love Source
Love Source
After being away for a while I have re-started my practice of yoga. There is an elegant, and graceful man, who is my teache


Prayables Blog

Marriage Tips: For Better or Worse, But Not for Lunch

posted by Susan Diamond | Wednesday, June 05, 2013

With a retired husband and a growing blog, that well-known saying is the story of my life these days. For those of you grammas with retired husbands, you may feel the same way. I pray that he stays busy all day, because even though he is no longer working, his mind is not retired, which results in ...

read more »





Previous Posts: Being Your Mother's Daughter | 3 Keys To A Successful Life! Eat, Pray, Love


Today's Spiritual Quote
Today's Spiritual Quote
- Charlie W. Shedd,
"Brush of an Angel's Wing"

What is an angel? The two words that come closest to a true biblical answer are "manifestation" and "servant."

more quotes

Advertisement

Our Free Newsletter Prayables
click here to see all of our uplifting newsletters »

 

Advertisement

DiggDeliciousNewsvineRedditStumbleTechnoratiFacebook