'They Gave the Phenomenal Gift of Their Lives'

The mother of a Marine killed in action says we must honor the memory of fallen soldiers by finishing the war.

BY: Interview by Dena Ross

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Debra Dunham is the mother of Cpl. Jason Dunham, winner of Beliefnet's People's Choice award for Most Inspiring Person of 2004, and Medal of Honor nominee. Since Jason's death in April of 2004, Debra and the Dunham family have received an outpouring of support and gratitude for Jason's sacrifice from soldiers and family members of those still in Iraq, as well as those whose loved ones have died. She spoke with Beliefnet about how we should honor the memories of those killed in action.

You've spoken with Marines who are still fighting in Iraq. What's your impression of how they're feeling? Do they feel like they have a job to finish or that they're tired of the war and want to go home?

From those I have talked with that are here [and] will be going back, and from the letters I get from some of the kids who are still over there--they feel that they have a job to do and would like to be able to complete the job they've started. They have a great deal of honor and commitment to each other, to the Corps, to the families of those who have been injured, and to those men and the women who have fallen.

What about the families you've spoken with who have had loved ones killed in action? How are they reacting to the continued war?

For those I've talked with, it's personal-it's not a political issue. Politics obviously plays in it, but we've lost part of our hearts. We've lost our family members, our sons, our husbands, wives, our child. And what we try to do is just find a new normal each day.

Everybody deals with it differently. It's learning to live with the loss and finding how to go on each day and how to live your day to the fullest. I know Jason wouldn't want us to sit and mope and not continue [on] with our lives because he gave his life so that we're still able to enjoy the freedoms here-to continue living and enjoying those, and being safe.

We have the pride that our son stood in place of those who were not able to do so for themselves. We still hold the pain, but we have our sons' memories to hold and their actions. As I said, it's a personal loss-this is not political.

Do the families feel resentful in any way?

Those who I have spoken with or received letters from-no.

Do you know a lot of soldiers who are reenlisting?

Several in Jason's battalion have reenlisted.

What are your thoughts on the war itself?

I'm not angry with the military or the government or the president. My son joined the Marines freely. He did the Delayed Entry [Program] the summer of his junior year [of high school]. He was looking at the fact that with the Marines he could get some very good training, he would have the GI Bill when he was completed and that would help him [with] college. His end goal was to become a state trooper here in New York. By joining the military he would get both the training and he would be able to use the GI Bill to help with college. Jason joined in 2000 when it was peaceful, but he knew that there was a possibility that this could happen and he wanted to be able to do that.

We have so many freedoms that we take for granted...
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