Prim Proms: How Religious Teens Party

There is nothing modest about the American high school prom. From the gowns to the limos to the day-long spa treatments, prom is an exercise in adolescent excess, generating an estimated three billion dollars in revenues this year. And while many parents and students balk at the immodest price tag, many conservative religious parents--and teens--worry about the skimpy dress and intermingling of the sexes typical of proms.

Not to mention the underage drinking, rented hotel rooms and some very immodest debauchery. "Prom," says the Reverend Bill Petterson of Brookfield Presbyterian Church outside of Milwaukee, "is now a cross between 'coming out' and 'coming on.'"

For most partygoers, picking out the perfect dress or renting the right limo is the extent of any spiritual crisis related to the prom. But for the more conservative Christian, Jewish, or Muslim student, deciding whether or not to attend prom can be a real test of faith.

To observant Muslims, the traditional prom is a triple threat of music, dancing and mingling with the opposite sex--all of which are "haram," or forbidden, in Islam. And while at least one Muslim high school, the Clara Mohammad School in Milwaukee, has entertained the idea of a prom-like event, parents and students are often not comfortable with the idea.

"The idea of going out with friends is not a problem; but going out to mixed areas where the primary purpose is to go with a guy is the issue," explains Lubna Malik, now a student at Princeton University. "At `dances' you generally dance with guys. Even if you were just dancing with girls, there would still be guys watching."

"[A prom] has dancing (which is forbidden) and music (which is looked down upon)... they lead to shamelessness. I never attended a middle school dance, a high school dance, a homecoming dance, or prom or even any formals here at Princeton."

Many Muslim teen web sites suggest organizing alternate events on prom night, such as shopping with the girls or having a sports night with the boys. The popular Muslim website SoundVision.com offers a

covering prom concerns and alternatives, with articles like "How to Say No to the Prom: Six Tips."

Recently, Muslim teen girls from California to Toronto have been throwing girl-only prom alternatives where they can enjoy all the trappings of the prom without the worry of the boy factor. Many of the girls arrive at the rented halls in hijab, only to reveal halter-top or strapless gowns, intricate hairstyles and dazzling accessories once inside. They eat a halal dinner and dance to pop and Arab music with their girlfriends.

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