Marital Stocks and Bonds

I work in a hospital as a lab technician, which doesn't pay well. My wife is a receptionist for a real estate broker, and her salary is also very low. We have to watch every penny. However, I'm going to inherit almost a million dollars from my father, who recently died. At first, my wife and I were thrilled, and we started making all kinds of plans about what we were going to do with the money. But lately, it's been coming between us. Last night, we had a huge fight after I suggested that she should begin studying how to invest, which is something I've already begun doing. She got really mad, and I ended the argument by saying that it was my money and I would do anything I wanted with it. I know there are people out there who would love to have this "problem," but I'm suddenly miserable and confused, and I don't understand why.

--Dave, Albuquerque

There is an assumption in our society that individuals who receive a great deal of money are lucky and all their problems are over. However, in the counseling we have done, we have repeatedly seen that whether you have a lot or a little, money is one of the most divisive topics that affect a marriage. The fact that this issue has come between you and your wife is not surprising.

In order to respond rationally to money issues, it's essential to observe how irrationally our culture responds to them. Money is such a conflicted symbol. On the one hand, it represents the key to safety, health, respect, influence, and even love. On the other hand, it represents selfishness, greed, arrogance, and depravity. We want it, but we "know" we shouldn't. It benefits us, but it also corrupts us. Its grip on the minds of most people is so powerful that they will betray their spouse, children, and siblings if forced to choose between these loved ones and money. Because symbols of money are all around us, we are each vulnerable to this disturbed attitude and must remain acutely aware of it if we are to bring peace to our financial lives.

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