A Celebration of Sex
Learning sexual technique, creative ways to please your partner, and how to resolve sexual problems--the Christian way
BY: Douglas E. Rosenau
There are three parts of being wise and knowledgeable lover. First, become a student of your mate. An integral aspect of true consideration is constantly trying to know and understand your partner better. Lovemaking should be knowing what your mate enjoys and needs. This knowledge takes time, curiosity, a good memory, and the willingness to be a student. Get a Ph.D. in your mate.
Second, be and informed and sexy lover by knowing your own body and sexual responses. You are the teacher of your mate. Do you know what turns you on and increases your desire? It will be difficult teaching your erotic needs to your partner if you are not aware of them. Tune in to your sexuality, and keep expanding your repertoire of sensual delights. Learn to become more easily and strongly orgasmic.
Third, develop a technical knowledge of sexuality. Sexual technique is not the be-all and end-all of a great sexual relationship, but its importance cannot be denied. Several chapters of this book are about technique. The couple with their act together sexually know how to create ambience and be uninhibitedly sensual and playful. They understand various positions of intercourse, and they have built a comfortable, exciting repertoire of sexual moves.
In making love, dishonesty destroys trust, allows boredom, and creates confusion and hostility. Great sex is based on mature lovers who can be honest with themselves and their mates. They are self-aware and canassertively communicate.
Many couples find it uncomfortable to initiate sexual conversations and openly discuss individual needs and desires. The wife may be upset because her husband gets defensive or pouts if she openly refuses sex or makes a small suggestion. The husband may be angry because his wife turns him down after he plays the romantic rituals like taking a quick shower or rubbing her back. These are times for great air-clearing, honest discussions, and confrontation as the couple openly express feelings and needs.
Sexy lovers take the time to develop the sensual, romantic parts of their minds and personalities. Mates can be surprised how talented and creative they are in planning sexy surprises for each other. This may include gifts, foot and leg massages, verbal demonstrativeness, mutual showers, or dinners with candlelight and soft glances. Of course, romantic lovemaking doesn't always involve completely new techniques and experiences. There are certain positions, ways of caressing, places, rhythms, restaurants, moods and vocabulary that remain enjoyable favorites.
Sexiness comes from your imaginative creativity and romantic inspirations-and the discipline (time and energy) to carry them out. You want to be a great, sexy lover? Become a creative romantic who invests time and energy wisely.
Discipline may seem an odd character trait to include for a lover, and the opposite of spontaneity, playfulness and creativity. The truth of the matter is than an undisciplined lifestyle will end up with very infrequent sex. Perhaps you think that discipline would completely destroy the fun and spontaneity of sex and put pressure on you. But if you don't plan sex into your busy schedules and find those optimal times, you will never make love! The ambience, activity, place, timing, and technique are up to your romantic creativity. Just keep a time sacredly (one definition of sacred is: "dedicated to a special purpose") reserved for sex.