What Women Need to Know about What a Man Wants
'Soul Mate' director Andrea Wiley discusses what African American Christian women can do to help their relationships.
BY: Andrea Wiley, as told to Jennifer E. Jones
We really need to just take another look at how we treat our men. There's a reason why the statistics show the more education and the more money that a Black woman earns, the more likely she is to never be married or have children. It's a mindset change that has to happen. You can still have your career, run your company and have your business, but there should be a shift in the dynamic at home. Men are wired to lead and to be respected, and we're wired to be loved.
The Myth of Superwoman
We have a lot of women feeling like they can do everything to the best of their abilities; you have the Superwoman label. Women were burning out, and they were getting very frustrated and very discouraged because it's just not physically possible. Life is about seasons. If you're a mother, you can have a career, but the focus is making sure you raise healthy, well-balanced children. That is our core calling. Multiplying disciples out into the world, and that, that's a full time job in and of itself. You cannot have it all at the same time. Something suffers. Something has to give. You will drive yourself crazy trying to be the best wife, the best mother, and trying to be at the top of your career. You can't do it. It's impossible.
What can Women Do?
We can certainly support our Black men and let them know that we support them. Let them feel that genuine support. I remember my brother once said to me, “You career women have it all wrong. You think you know your husbands are here to help you when you were designed to be a helper to them. That's why God created you, to help him.”
My number one advice: make time to spend time with your Creator, the Creator of the universe. I know it's hard to believe, but He wants to spend time with you. Your intimacy with Him is His highest priority for your life, the quality and the time spent privately with God directly determines the public impact your life will have.
Learn more about Andrea's documentary Soul Mate