How to Forgive After an Affair

Jason's Dad

An elderly hand correcting a letter with a pen

Your father is a pastor, so he must have struggled with trying to protect you while helping promote forgiveness. What were the struggles that he went through in this whole process?

Jason: Yeah, my dad is my best friend, so I think he probably carried the brunt of my emotions and feelings and decision making. I talked to my dad everyday for probably close to nine months while I was walking through this and we cried together and that whole deal. I would say that my dad was every bit as emotional as I was. I know that my dad shared the same emotions that I did as a grandfather to my kids and a father to me and to her. In some ways he was a spiritual dad to her and loved her.

When somebody walks out on you it hurts, it hurts on every level, it hurts everybody that’s in a relationship. My dad was included in that, so [my dad] writing the book with me was really the finalization of our journey together. It wasn’t just “Hey dad, I need help”. It was “Hey dad, let’s finish this road together. We’ve walked this far and we’ve really come to a place of wholeness and of healing and our family has come to a place of healing and wholeness. Let’s finish this road by giving away what we’ve learned and where we’ve been to other people.” But even that process was hard, especially for him because he’s having to relive how he felt. I tell my story a lot so I get a lot more used to going, “that was my life and that’s how I felt,” but for him I think it was a little bit harder to go, “this was my kid’s reality and my grandkid’s reality. These are the things that we walked through.”

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