How to Forgive After an Affair

The Sadness

What were your immediate feelings with her and the man she was unfaithful with, as well as your long-term feelings for them?

Jason: Immediate feelings would be: I’m human, I’m angry. I want justice. I wish it was the Wild West. I wish I could go out there and settle it with a bullet. Those are my initial feelings. Crying, really frustrated, [and] really confused. I’m mad for my kids; I’m mad that she would leave them. All that stuff would be an initial feeling that I had to work through.

My long term feelings are “I want the best for her.” What God gave to me I want Him to give to her, as far as wholeness and forgiveness and reconciliation. God reconciled all of us to Him. He gave all of us, in our sin, a way out. He gave us freedom. So that ultimately became my goal with her. Although I’m in pain, even in my pain I still want her to be free. And I want her to be whole. And I want her and him to have a good life. I don’t win if they ruin my life, so those were my short term and my long term thoughts.

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