How to Forgive After an Affair
Tell me about your story that led you to write the book.
Jason Vallotton: The long story short is I grew up in a really good home, got married when I was 18 years old, right out of high school to my high school sweetheart, which is awesome. And I had kids really young, I started having kids [at 19 years old], so life was going really good.
About nine years into our marriage I realized I don’t feel really connected, I don’t feel really close to her right now, which isn’t terribly uncommon if you’ve been married any amount of time. It’s not uncommon to feel some kind of disconnection. The more I pursued her, the further away she got. And I started to realize, “man, there’s something wrong here”. Over a course of about four months she got further and further away, indicating that with what she was saying too “I don’t want to be with you” and “I don’t feel like we have passion." Things like that, which is really hard. I mean, just crazy. By this time we have three kids and I’m in Ministry, and so eventually after about four months I found out that she had somebody else that she was seeing and from then on, here comes the book as far as the pain. And “what am I going to do?” is the initial feeling. “My wife just left, I have three kids. How are they going to handle this? And how am I going to handle this?" I didn’t even know what to do.