Why is love so hard? This is a common question. It is emotional reactivity that makes love painful and elusive. When we are emotionally reactive we are acting out of our defenses not our hearts or our truth. We become egotistical and self-protective rather than open and vulnerable. Sadly, emotional reactivity is highly contagious. Once one person gets defensive and inflexible it tends to infuriate the other who ends up doing the same. 

This only increases the conversation tension between partners. When we lose emotional control we end up disrespecting our partners in the worst and most offensive ways that undermines the trust and sense of accountability in our relationships. The truth cannot come to the surface for discussion because being reactive blocks the true understanding of the information that needs to be discussed and resolved. In essence being reactive serves to prevent lovers from being able to say what they really need and want to say, and thus, solutions are slow to come if they can come at all.

Here are five effective ways to learn to Act and not Re-Act in love. 

Dr. Sherrie Campbell is an author and a licensed Psychologist with more than nineteen years of clinical training and experience. She provides practical tools to help people overcome obstacles to self-love and truly achieve an empowered life.  She is a featured regularly on national online media and has a successful practice in Southern California.  Get her free article on Five Ways to Make Love the Common Ground in Your Communication.  Receive free insights from Sherrie through her Facebook community. For more information click here.