The Sexy Spirit

Gina Ogden peeked into America's bedrooms and found lots of...spirituality going on.

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There are certain religious belief systems that say, go forth and multiply. That's part of fulfilling the commandments of the Lord. In my nationwide survey of 4,000 people on sexuality and spirituality, I found that it wasn't so much sex being one thing and spirituality, i.e. God's command, being another, so much as it was a whole picture of our sexual response involving our bodies, involving our emotions, what we feel about sex, what goes on whether we're sad, mad, glad, scared, or extremely joyous.

Also, we always have to remember the messages we've gotten probably as children, and certainly as adults, that good girls don't…or do they? It's a double-message of our culture that says sex is dirty, save it for the one you love. How do we put that together? 

What do you think are the biggest misconceptions about marital sex?
Open Your Heart & Mind to Pleasure


Let's say a couple has had sex before marriage, has perhaps been living together for weeks, months, or even years. What happens when you finally make that commitment? What is marriage? For most people it's a public commitment to be faithful, to be monogamous with one another, to really focus on one another and stay there through thick and thin, sickness and health, and to pool their resources, whether those are money, parenting skills with children, or sexual feelings. What I've found so often happens with couples who've been happily living together, suddenly it's, "Oh my God, I have this performance thing that is put on me, things are going to change once I've made this public commitment and announcement, things will never be the same." We can't just relax into our sexual pleasures. We somehow have to do something different. 

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Interview by Holly Lebowitz Rossi
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