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How Will I Ever
Date Again?

A year after the loss of her husband, this young widow must choose life--one day at a time, even if she doesn't feel like it.

Dear Rabbi,
I am a 32-year-old widow who lost her beloved husband to cancer last spring. We had no children. Most of the marriage, he battled with cancer, and I took care of him. He is forever in my heart. While I know I am definitely not ready to date yet, I know it will happen someday. What advice would you give a young woman like me?

--Widow Elizabeth

 

Dear Elizabeth,
On my television show, "Shalom in the Home," one of the most moving episodes we've filmed was about a 36-year-old widow, Caroline, whose husband died in a tragic car accident. She was not succeeding at dating, even six years after her husband's death. In fact, she even kept a bloody dress in a special box in her room (he died in her arms). One of the first things that we had her do was to bury that dress. I explained that in the Bible, on the last day that Moses would be leader of the Israelite nation, he told the Jewish people that every day, before every human being, the choice is placed whether one chooses life or death.

 

I told Caroline that our obligation is to always choose life, but that sometimes death chooses us. This is inescapable and unavoidable. In Caroline's case, death chose her and her family through the tragedy of a horrific car accident. In your case, death chose you and your family through the tragedy of cancer. But even given your helplessness to stop your tragic loss, you can and must continue to choose life for yourself.

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