Can Britney's Marriage Get Godly?

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When I married my husband, he promised me I would "see the world" but what he showed me was five babies in seven years and eleven moves in thirteen years! Our new union was set up for conflict but I think that Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have us beat in terms of external pressures on their marriage!

The best advice I could give Britney would be for her to go back to the faith of her youth--it may not have been a perfect religion (there isn't one), it may not be chic in Hollywood circles (but since when did trendy equal functional?), but it's the mystical filling that will make her heart whole.

Britney and Kevin desperately need spiritual counsel if their marriage is to survive--and it's not found in a psychotherapist's office. I think that a well-grounded, spiritual "mentor couple" would be their most effective source of the genuine, practical help. This older and wiser couple would walk them through the spiritual basis for conflict resolution, balance in their relationship, and staying connected when they're apart. My husband and I (who live north of Los Angeles) would be willing to serve in this role.

There is one more unique feature that the right spiritual mentor couple would need to possess--they can't be Britney fans. She already has enough "yes" people around her. It is essential that she and Kevin open themselves up to someone who isn't impressed with their celebrity, who would give them spiritual truth in "agape" love--a love that doesn't seek its own, one that is not self-serving or unkind and one that hopes and believes all things. Every marriage deserves a fighting chance, and this couple needs to be brave enough to humble themselves to look for practical help in spiritual places.

Britney and Kevin need to put each other first in their hearts. [Before marriage] they needed to do some soul-searching and ask: Is this the person I truly want to be married to? Am I ready to be married? Marriage is a sacrament. It calls forth everything in one's soul. Hopefully, they've already found that out.

If they were coming to me for guidance and healing light, I would help them gain clarity and harmony and some inner peace. Working with people's subtle/spiritual energy connects them to their inner truth. If they were meant to stay together, things would get better for them. If not, they would know pretty quickly. I wish them the best. Marriage is always designed for our soul's highest growth. Wonderful. But not always easy.

Britney and Kevin, take a moment right now to be still. Together take a deep breath in, deep breath out, deep breath in, deep breath out. Now look at each other and decide if you really want to be married. If the answer is yes, then you need to stop the frenetic lives you have lived in public up to this point and focus on nurturing your relationship and establishing the routines of married life. Kevin, you have a tough role in this relationship because you assuredly feel overshadowed by the fame of your wife. Instead of being the wild bad boy, be the rock which Britney relies on while pursuing your own artistic and financial projects.

Britney, I suggest you once again use Madonna as your role model. Madonna is pursuing her spiritual quest and she seems to appear in the media only on her own terms. The result is that she comes across with a sense of dignity that you could use right now. While we heard a lot about your Christian faith when you broke big several years ago, it seems to have faded from your life. My guess is that you asked God to bless your marriage within your wedding. Take the time now to honor God by really loving one another as you vowed to do.

When asked what spiritual marital advice I would give Britney and Kevin, I turned to my guide in these matters--my archive of Us Weekly, In Touch, and Star magazines. After many hours, I was able to discern... 1) Us Weekly has a much better copy editor than In Touch, and 2) I have no spiritual advice for the couple because this marriage isn't based on anything classified as spiritual, even though Britney often characterized her relationship as spiritual.

According to USA Today, the wedding ceremony proper lasted only five minutes. Other news sources reported that although there was a minister--unnamed--present, the line for the officiant's signature on the marriage license wasn't signed. Perhaps, not coincidentally, there were also matters of a prenuptial agreement that had to be dealt with, along with a deal for a People magazine exclusive.

The spiritual work that should have been done for this marriage should have been done before the wedding. I'm not a psychologist or a pastor, but I watch a lot of reality TV, which means I have a pretty good understanding of human nature and the psychobabble that goes with it. Britney is searching: searching for independence, higher meaning and the perfect hair color. But if you ask me, this marriage isn't about spirituality, it's about sperm.

Britney isn't being subtle about how much she wants a baby, and I don't think it's a coincidence that Federline is the father of two. Before Federline, Britney was associating with another dancer who had a pregnant significant other back at home. What we have here is the making of a classic Ricki Lake episode. You know the ones, where a teen girl says she wants to have a baby because she wants something to love her? It happens to child stars all the time, they have the adoration of millions of fans, but crave real love, at least according to all those VH1 specials.

For now, though, I'd say to Britney: Enjoy it. Heck, it's outlasted your first marriage by 5,705 hours. Don't fret about this baby thing. If you truly married Kevin to be with Kevin, spend a couple of years getting to know him and growing with him. Then add to the Britney brood. Then again, it's your prerogative.