Carolyn and Sean Savage share their incredible story of how a medical mistake turned into a lifetime of love.
Carolyn: We’ve seen him twice. Once when he was three months old and once when he was nine months old. She sends photos, email updates, and every time we get a little glimpse into his life to see how well he’s doing, those are very joyous occasions for us. They’re kind of like little rewards that I hope will come periodically, or as often as they will allow us to have them as he grows. We have been very consistent from the beginning saying that our role in his life will have to be determined by his parents. They didn’t ask for any of this. They’re going to know him best and they’re going to know what’s best for him and for their family. So we will not intrude or ever invite ourselves to be a part of his life. But at invitation we’ll come with absolutely no hesitation.
Sean: Going back to that delivery, I just think the miracle of childbirth and every time we’ve been in for a delivery of one of our children, and also of Logan, it’s just one of the most amazing moments, and when you’re there, you realize the presence of God in that process. In taking Logan to his genetic parents that day I felt so much the sacrifice that Carolyn had made and felt like I was representing her in that process of handing him over. Although it was a loss for us, it was an amazing gift. I think for the Morales it was a gift of life. And I think it’s one thing for folks to talk about their beliefs or to espouse I think living your faith is so critical. As we’ve gone through this we’ve received so much support from so many people. We had a spiritual-based counselor through this entire process. As we launch and go through this book process, we’re really looking for the support of believers everywhere to hold up the faith of your life, and the faith of your marriage, and the incredible sacrifice of mothers. What they do is amazing. In our book we really espouse those values and try to live those as best we could. I think that’s a big part of what “Inconceivable” is all about. It’s on the feedback we’re getting from people. That’s really heartwarming as well.
Jana: That’s great. It’s a wonderful message to share with people.
Carolyn: Also, you know what I think? I hope that not only will people who are undergoing In Vitro Fertilization take a look at our book and understand the questions that need to be asked in clinics. Look at the book and make sure that their protocols are as tight as they should be. But also, I think, there’s a lesson in there about making sure that we ask appropriate questions of our medical providers, regardless of what medical treatments we are receiving. I know that it can be intimidating to question – we are taught such deference to doctors as such a young age, but we do have to remember that we are our own best advocates and it’s well within our rights, and really our responsibility, to make sure that all the safety measures, regardless of what the area of medicine is, are in place so that our families, our children, and ourselves are protected. In addition, I think our story is really a witness to standing up for what you believe in. Even in the toughest of circumstances, we as Christians are capable to walking our talk. We have weak moments, sometimes; walking the talk is very, very difficult. But as long as we stay rooted in our beliefs and in our faith and in our belief in God and our belief in Jesus Christ, we can get incredible work done. But it takes a lot of perseverance. And I think when we do that, we allow God to work through us. So that’s a big part of our book, a big part of our message.
Jana: I think the book will reach out to a lot of couples, especially believers, with this message.
Sean: Yes, we really hope so. It touches, I think, many areas that people can garner a lot out of it and apply it to their own lives. We want to engage folks and we have our website http://www.inconceivablebook.com We have a place on there called “Inconceivable Choices”. It’s a place for folks to go to share difficult choices that they’re facing, challenges in their life, so that they can gather support from others, and feedback. I think it’s really important when you go through something as we have. We received so much help from so many people. That’s what we’re trying to [do]; in return, do for others with http://inconceivablebook.com/inconceivable-choices It’s just something that we really want to give back in this process. That hopefully is one of the lasting legacies of this.
Jana: You are right that we shouldn’t try to go through things alone but instead we should reach out for help. Is there anything else that you wanted to mention?
Sean: I would say that more than anything, we ask people to engage us, and engage the book. I really think as a community of believers we need to be there to support situations and folks that are holding up their faith, and for some reason, Carolyn and I have a platform right now, and there’s people around the world that are giving us attention. Long after they forget who our names are, I hope they remember the story. I hope they remember how important life was to our story, and how important marriage was, and how important our respect for motherhood and parenthood is. I think all those are just so important in society. In some respects society is losing respect for a number of those. Our hope is that we get the support of believers and we hold [these] up as being really important.